Greyback's Daughter
by eponine23
Summary: When Remus Lupin was sent to spy on Greyback's werewolves, he had to leave behind his friends in the Order and the woman he loves. After spending some time among them, he finds the last thing he expected: an ally.
1. Prologue

The sound of heavy breathing above him woke Remus Lupin more effectively than the cold. His knuckles, already white from the freezing air, whitened as he clenched the photograph tighter in his hand. He opened his eyes and sat up. Yawning, he saw the figure who had been standing above him. "Morning, Greyback," he grumbled hoarsely.

"Get up, Lupin," Greyback snarled. His savage eyes glinted wildly in the predawn light.

Without a word, Remus stood up, still clutching his most prized possession: The photograph. He tried to cram it in his pocket subtlety, so that Greyback wouldn't see it, but it was in vain.

"What's in your hand, Lupin?" Greyback growled.

"A picture," Remus said truthfully. There was no point in lying about that. Not when lying could get him killed.

"Let me see it," rasped Greyback.

Remus silently handed him the picture. Greyback clasped it in his claw-like hand and smoothed the crumpled photo. His bloodshot eyes looked at the face of the laughing, pink-haired woman hungrily, causing Remus to clench his fist angrily. He had come here to protect the woman in the photo, not to endanger her further.

"Who is she?" Greyback growled, pointing at the battered portrait with a bony finger.

"Just—just a girl," Remus lied hurriedly. Nymphadora Tonks was more than "just a girl," she was the true love of his life. She would have been his bride, had he not come to his senses and put an end to their slowly growing relationship. In his mind, he clearly recalled fighting with her. He remembered, clearest of all, the sharp sting of her left hand across his face as she slapped him. He remembered—just as painfully—how that same hand had gently cupped on his cheek as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to kiss her. A lump built in Remus' throat as he thought about his playful, beautiful nymph.

"She isn't 'just a girl,' Lupin. We both know that, don't we?" Greyback asked with a barbarous grin.

"No, no she's not," Remus agreed. Lying would put her—and him—in even more danger.

"I didn't think so. She left you, didn't she? When she found out about your powers?"

"Powers" was hardly the word Remus would have chosen to describe his condition. "Curse" was a more accurate description for having your body mutated against your will every month. Being a werewolf had robbed him of respect, friends, work, and now, the one chance he had ever had at happiness; his only chance at true love. It had robbed him of the chance of having a normal, happy life with Nymphadora. Greyback didn't have to know that it had been Remus doing the leaving, not the other way around. He would never guess and Remus would never tell him. He had to keep Nymphadora safe. He loved her so fiercely that, to protect her and help make her world a better place, he was standing in the middle of a pine forest, freezing nearly to death, about half an hour before sunrise, talking with the very man who was the reason he could never be with her. The irony was sickening; it was unfair. It was like everything else in his life.

Life had given him a nice family. Now, they were dead. Life had given him three best friends. Now, two were dead and one was a traitor. Life had given him a beautiful woman, who loved him unconditionally and as strongly as he loved her. Now, he had given up with a chance at a life with her as his wife for _this_, but he had done it to keep her safe, to give her a chance at happiness; a chance at a better life, a life with a man who was much better for her than he was. Nymphadora needed—deserved—a perfect man. She didn't need a penniless werewolf with nothing to offer her but a heart that ached for him to scoop her into his arms, hold her there forever and kiss her until they were out of breath. She needed someone young, someone whole, someone…normal, with money: someone who could provide for her. He simply wasn't good enough for her, and he never would be.

Forcing himself from reverie, Remus nodded solemnly.

"Go get some breakfast, Lupin. You look rather ill and I can't have one of my best werewolves dropping from starvation." Greyback returned the photo.

Remus didn't need to be told twice. He scrambled to the small fire being tended by one of the few female werewolves in the camp. She gave him a small smile and handed him a plate of bacon and sausage. He muttered, "Thanks, Annabeth."

"Don't mention it, Lupin," Annabeth replied quietly, absent-mindedly twirling a strand of messy red hair around a finger.

Remus gave her a quick smile and vanished into the shadowy forest to devour his breakfast in peace. Upon finding a fallen tree, he sat on the log and began to eat. He raised his head as he saw movement in his peripheral vision. Turning to his right, he saw a place where the shadow seemed deeper. As he blinked, a small, slender figure melted out of the darkness.

It was a girl of about seventeen with shoulder length black hair that hung limply around her pale face. A wry smile played around the corners of her thin mouth. Her pallid face had a harassed, cynical look to it, as if she had seen too much suffering and knew all too well the trouble in the world. Her eyes were as deep and dark as Nymphadora's, though they were green rather than blue. There was pain in the girl's eyes, a deep sympathy, an understanding. Her eyes were filled with immense sadness and an equal amount of wisdom. Something about this child made Remus' heart go out to her. She seemed to know his sorrows, to feel his pain.

"Who are you?" Remus asked. "I haven't seen you before."

The girl gave a short, amused laugh. "Not many have," she explained. "Though I have seen you. I've watched you, Remus Lupin. You aren't like the others' you don't belong her. You belong somewhere else. Perhaps with the woman in your photograph."

Remus blinked in surprise. "How did you know about that?" he asked.

"I watch; I listen. You look at that picture every night. When you do, I watch your eyes. They change: there is such love, such sadness, such longing in them, that I know she must be someone special."

"She is," Remus agreed.

"What's her name?" asked the girl.

Something about this girl made Remus trust her. He decided that saying her name wouldn't hurt. "Nymphadora. Nymphadora Tonks."

"I just realized something!" the girl exclaimed. "I know your name, I know your girlfriend's name, but you don't know mine!"

"What's your name, then?" asked Remus, intrigued.

"I'm Sara," the girl said. "Sara Greyback."


	2. Chapter 1: Out of the Shadows

Chapter 1: Out of the Shadows

Sara's gaunt face was set, and yet, somehow, fragile in the predawn light filtering down through the pine branches. Moments before, Remus' entire outlook on life had shifted, and he felt more pity for the solemn, seventeen-year-old girl than he had for anyone else he had met among Voldemort's werewolves, more, in fact, than for anyone else he had ever met in his entire life. She was Fenrir Greyback's _daughter_. His entire life had been drastically changed for the worse since Greyback had bitten him as a child. At least he may have had a chance at a normal life, had he not been bitten. This girl's entire life had been cursed, and there had been no avoiding it. Sara gave him a quick smile then spoke, breaking the silence that had stretched across the long minutes since she had last spoken, "Listen, Remus, I'm not like the others. In fact, I hate them. The only reasons I'm still alive are that I'm a good liar and that I can disappear.

"I've been watching you since the day you got here. You weren't like the rest of them—us. You'd _tried_ to live among 'normal' wizards. Tried and succeeded, I was sure. The others didn't trust you at first. I heard them talking after you went to bed on your first night here. Surprisingly, it was my Father who defended you. He said he'd waited over thirty years for you to join us and that you had just taken more time than most to come to your senses.

"I was the only one he didn't convince. Oh, I let him _believe_ that he had convinced me, but every night, I watched you, determined that, one day, I'd dare to step out of the shadows and speak with you."

"I'm glad you did," Remus said pensively. "It's rather difficult to keep a secret all to yourself."

Sara gave him another brief smile. "Very," she agreed.

""What made you decide to talk to me after all this time?" Remus asked.

"The picture. After your argument with father, I was even more curious as to who she was. What happened between you and her?"

Remus looked at her incredulously. "She—well…She and I—I don't really want to talk about it."

Sara nodded. "I understand. You left her, didn't you? Probably for this secret mission you're on."

"What?" Remus asked. "How did you…?" he trailed off.

Sara grinned mischievously. "I didn't think you told Father the truth. I didn't think you'd still be so attached to her if you came here for kicks."

"I left her because I don't want to endanger her. I came here because I was sent by Albus Dumbledore."

Sara snorted. "Well, how noble of you," she stated sarcastically. "I'm sure she's happy you're her risking your own life."

"She—Tonks—didn't want me to go. In all honesty, _I_ didn't want to go, but then, I realized that, by remaining, I would only put Tonks in danger. She wanted us to get married. How could I have married her, Sara? I would be a danger to her on the full moon if I forgot my potion!"

"But do you love her?" asked Sara. "Truly love her?"

"Yes, I do," Remus said. "Of course I do, but how can I?"

"Men!" Sara exclaimed vehemently. "Remus Lupin, you stupid, noble prat! If you love her, none of this matters, as long as she loves you, too!"

"What do you know about it?" snapped Remus. "You're only seventeen."

"Remus, listen to me," Sara said gently. "Love is all that matters. As for how I know this…well, I don't want to talk about it just yet." She bowed her head, hiding her face behind her hair.

Remus let that point go. He knew all too well how annoying it was when someone kept pushing for a discussion on a painful point.

"What would you give for her happiness?" Sara asked, bringing up the subject of Tonks yet again.

"I would do anything," he stated simply.

Sara smiled. "Then why don't you go back to her?"

"I can't! I need to keep her safe."

"Sometimes," Sara replied gently, "the ones we want to protect the most are the ones that need protection the least. Think about it."

"I left her to protect her. She needs this."

"That's not really why you left her," Sara protested. "Don't lie to yourself, Remus."

"Then why _did _I, then?"

"You're afraid," Sara stated simply.

Remus was taken aback. He had known this girl for only fifteen minutes and she was already more knowledgeable about his deepest feelings than he himself was. He inhaled the cool morning air sharply and the spicy odor of pine enveloped his keen senses.

"I'm not mocking you," Sara said. "I'm just trying to help. I'm your friend, Remus."

A jolt ran through Remus as Sara spoke. Tonks had said almost the exact same thing to him not too long ago. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he looked into Sara's emerald eyes and found in them the same sympathy he saw in Tonks'. A sudden desire to tell her everything overcame him and he struggled to hold his tongue.

Sara, on the other hand, was very talkative, now that she had come out of hiding. "What's life like on the outside, Remus?"

Her eyes sparkled eagerly and Remus decided that she deserved an answer. She was, after all, the only person here he trusted. "It's cruel, unforgiving, prejudiced and harsh."

"So not that different from here, really?" Sara asked wryly.

"I suppose not," Remus agreed with a smile. "Except, people sleep in houses and don't expect anybody else to become a full-fledged monster monthly."

"Was that supposed to be a joke?" Sara demanded. "Honestly, Remus, you need a better sense of humor!"

Remus chuckled, laughing for the first time since his heart had broken. "Sometimes, Sara, I think you're really just Tonks, morphed into a seventeen-year-old."

"Don't you think that, if she had morphed into someone else to come here and find you, that she would have chosen to be much older and more attractive?"

Remus laughed again. "You do have a point there."

"I'm picturing a slender blond with big, grey eyes and a small nose. Oh, and big, red lips, perfect for snogging," Sara chirped.

"Please be serious, Sara. What will your father think if he finds us here?"

"He'll think I've finally come to my senses. You know, by opening up to the others."

"He won't be angry with you for talking to a strange werewolf who dared risk life among normal wizards?"

"He trusts you, Remus," Sara said, her voice oddly hollow. "He trusts you more than anyone here, except for me, of course. Odd, isn't it? The two people he trusts most are the two traitors in his midst."

Remus felt a sudden thrill of foreboding. Perhaps he had gone in over his head on this one. Stomach churning unpleasantly, he looked down at his unfinished breakfast. He knew that he couldn't eat it. "You want this?" he asked Sara, holding out the plate of food.

"Sure," Sara said, taking it from Remus. The two sat in relative silence as Sara consumed Remus' meal.

The crunch of dead pine needles and pinecones caused Remus and Sara to look around. The source of the noise was Fenrir Greyback. He smiled savagely and Remus was impressed by Sara's ability to keep her emotions hidden. "Hello, Sara; hello, Lupin," Greyback rasped.

"Hello, Greyback," Remus replied.

"Hello, Father," Sara stated coolly.

"I see you have met my daughter, Lupin. This is wonderful. In fact, there's something important I need to tell both of you, but we must move farther from the camp so that none of the others hear us." Greyback disappeared among the shadowy trees.

Remus and Sara exchanged a nervous glance before plunging into the unknown.


	3. Chapter 2: Truth Among Friends

Chapter 2: Truth Among Friends

Not for the first time since Greyback had given him his new assignment, Remus felt guilt creep into his gaze as he shot a furtive glance at Sara, who was standing a few meters to his left, her pale skin contrasting starkly with her dark hair. She gave him a subtle smile and returned her gaze to the werewolves who were eating a rather subdued breakfast in the steadily falling rain. It felt strange to Remus to have been given the same assignment twice. When Dumbledore had told him to spy on these werewolves, it had been expected, but receiving the same order from Greyback had caught him of guard. _At the very least_, Remus thought wryly, _I won't get thrown out of here for it._

An owl hooted softly behind him and he turned. The bird had a letter tied to its foot and it looked extremely familiar.

"Errol," he whispered.

"Who?" Sara asked.

"The owl," Remus explained, carefully removing the letter from the owl's foot. He carefully opened the envelope and removed the letter. Unfolding the parchment as silently as he could, he read the letter aloud in an undertone.

"_Dear Remus,_

"_Arthur and I would like you to come to dinner at our house this Saturday. We are all very worried about you in the Order. Arthur and Dumbledore have tried to tell me enough to survive, but I'm worried about you, and not just because of those other werewolves. What I'm _most_ worried about is a certain young lady by the name of Nymphadora Tonks. She hasn't been doing well lately and she's having trouble morphing. Remus, this girl is in love with you and I know you love her, too. As you know, Tonks is like a daughter to me, and any man who hurts one of my little girls—whether it's Ginny or Tonks—will have to answer to me._

"_Love,_

"_Molly Weasley_

"_PS: Can you please just talk to Tonks? If you come to dinner this Saturday, I will give you her address so you can visit her. Take the poor girl some flowers and chocolates while you're at it." _

When Remus looked up from the letter, he saw that Sara's slender body was shaking from suppressed laughter.

"She's lucky that it was just you and me around when this owl came," Remus muttered darkly.

Sara said nothing, but grew more strained against the laughter she was holding back.

"What's so funny?" Remus demanded.

"Just the thought of you answering to this Molly Weasley person and the thought of you taking Tonks flowers and chocolate," Sara admitted breathlessly.

"Molly Weasley is very protective of her children and Tonks," Remus stated. "She doesn't like it when they are upset."

The laughter on Sara's face disappeared in an instant. For a moment, her composure slipped and Remus glimpsed in her eyes a profound sadness and loneliness that he himself knew all too well. He felt it every time he reminded himself that he could never be with Tonks. But the sadness in Sara's eyes was fleeting, as she replaced it almost instantaneously with her usual guarded, indifferent expression. "What's wrong, Sara?" he asked.

"Nothing," she replied flatly. Remus shot her a pointed look. She sighed and admitted, "I'm a little jealous, that's all. See, I really miss my mother. She died years ago."

"I'm sorry," Remus apologized.

"Don't be," Sara whispered. "Perhaps it was better that way. She didn't have to suffer as much."

"What happened?" Remus asked her cautiously. When Sara said nothing, he added, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I want to," Sara answered with a sad smile. "Just not today. I can't just yet. Maybe another day."

Remus understood, but he was unable to speak so he merely nodded. Sara, however, did not acknowledge his reverie, her emerald eyes had a somewhat glazed appearance and she absent-mindedly twisted a strand of dirty black hair around a long, thin finger. The two friends stood in silence for a few minutes until Sara abruptly broke it. "You should go."

"Go where?" Remus asked, confused.

"Molly's house, of course," Sara explained. "And you should visit Tonks."

"How can I?" Remus asked. "Won't Greyback get suspicious?"

"Not if we ask very, very nicely," Sara replied with a mischievous grin.

Remus grinned back. "I could just see you do that. 'Hey, Dad, Remus has to go to the home of the biggest family of Blood-traitors for dinner this Saturday; then he has to go give that girl from his photograph flowers. Can he have the weekend off?'"

"No offense, Remus, but you have an atrocious view of my character," Sara complained. "I'm a professional liar."

"What would you say, then?" Remus asked.

"I'd say, 'Dad, Remus wants to scout around for other werewolves who want to turn their backs on the cruel, proud wizards of normal society this weekend. D'you mind if he does?'" Sara widened her eyes innocently.

Remus was startled. He had never thought of Sara as having the possibility of having been pretty, but with her eyes sparking mischievously, he realized that, given proper hygiene and nutrition, she would have been a rather charming child. She might even have been popular at Hogwarts. "Will you talk to him about this?" he asked softly.

Sara nodded. "Right now," she replied, then darted off through the trees and rain. Before she disappeared entirely, he heard her whisper, "Destroy the letter. If anyone finds it, both our necks are going to be on the chopping block."

Remus held the letter in the rain until the ink bled off the parchment, trickling onto his fingers like black blood. The words faded and the parchment became soggy until there was nothing left of it but a dripping wad. He crammed it into his pocket and strode off through the driving rain toward camp, hoping Sara would be able to convince her father to let him go. As much as he dreaded having to face Tonks' anger again, the thought of the Weasley' familiar faces cheered him up.

Remus stopped dead at the edge of the trees. Bending over slightly, to prevent water from ruining it, he removed Tonks' portrait from his pocket and gazed hungrily at her smiling face. _I miss you, Tonks_, he thought before lifting his head and noticing that he was fact to face with Annabeth.

"What are you doing, Remus?" she asked.


	4. Chapter 3: A Visit

Chapter 3: A Visit

Remus took a steadying breath and raised his fist, hoping he would knock before his nerves failed and he Disapparated on the spot. The only thing that kept him there was the same thing that had worried him for the past five days: Annabeth had seemed to recognise Tonks. When she had asked what he was doing, Remus had shown her the picture. Annabeth's gaze had hardened and she had seemed angry.

Flooded with determination, he knocked on the door of Tonks' London apartment. To his surprise, she answered the door wearing a fluffy pink bathrobe over her pyjamas. Her mousy hair hung around her face in a way he had never seen it before, as though she no longer cared how it looked. Her eyes were puffy from exhaustion and she was thinner than Remus had ever seen her. He braced himself for her to slap him and staggered backward as she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him, instead. Not having been prepared for this reaction, he didn't do the sensible thing, which, to him, would have been to push her away. Instead, he slipped his arms around her waist and tilted his head obligingly as she moved to kiss him. Her lips brushed gently, sweetly across his. After several seconds, Remus came back to his senses and pulled away from Tonks. He glimpsed the hurt in her eyes and allowed her to rest her head on his shoulder.

"D'you have any idea what time it is?" she whispered.

Remus looked over her shoulder out the window on the other side of the small living room of the apartment. A nearly full moon shone through, casting a pale light on the room. "Late?" he guessed.

He felt, rather than saw her nod. "Why are you here?" she asked.

Wordlessly, Remus reached into the pocket of his threadbare overcoat and removed a single rose; the one Molly Weasley had pushed into his hand as he had left her house, saying, "You'd better give this to Tonks. That poor girl's been really down lately, and it's all your fault. This is the least you can do to make it up to her."

"Remus," cried Tonks, "I can't take that! I'll injure myself!"

Remus smiled. "That's why I cut the thorns off."

She took the flower and put her arms back around his neck. "Thanks."

"This is for you, too." Remus gave her a small box of chocolates.

"You're spoiling me," she teased, a huge grin lighting up her heart-shaped face.

"I have something else for you, too," Remus whispered into her ear.

"Does it have a diamond?" she asked. "Does it come from my big, strong, handsome werewolf on one knee?"

"No," Remus stated firmly. "It's something I have important to tell you."

"You'd better come in, then," Tonks said glumly. She removed her arms from his neck as he released her and followed her into the apartment. Once both of them were inside, Tonks pushed the door shut; then locked it. Remus stood awkwardly a few metres away from her. She tucked a loose strand of mousy hair behind her ear. "You can sit down, you know."

"Oh," Remus replied. He stepped cautiously through the messy living room and sat on the plush couch. Tonks stepped less cautiously through the room, overturning several stacks of assorted objects that were merely silhouettes in the half-light of the moon filtering through the smudged glass of the window. She sat beside him and lit a candle with a flick of her wand.

"What's did you want to tell me?" she asked tiredly.

"Do you promise not to tell anyone; not even Molly Weasley?" Remus asked.

Tonks grinned mischievously. "So this is just between you and me?"

"Kind of." Remus took a deep breath. "D'you know a lady named Annabeth?"

"Annabeth...who?" asked Tonks, her eyebrows knitting in confusion.

"Lee, I think," Remus answered.

"What does she look like?" Tonks asked.

"She's about your age; has thick red hair; brownish eyes; a small, pointy nose and a round face."

"Annie!" cried Tonks, her face lighting up in recognition. "I haven't seen her since fourth year! She left that summer and never returned!"

That made sense to Remus. She was after all, a werewolf. "Did she hate you?" Remus asked.

"No," Tonks said. "Not that I knew of unless—Bill!"

"Bill?" asked Remus.

"Bill Weasley," Tonks explained. "Annie was in the year above me. She was in Hufflepuff, too. That girl's heart beat only for Bill, I swear. Whenever she was around, it was Bill Weasley this and Bill Weasley that and 'according to Bill Weasley' all the time. She got so annoying about trying to impress him that one of my friends, to stop her, spread the rumor through the Hufflepuff common room that he had a girlfriend: me.

Remus chuckled and Tonks cuffed him with one of the couch pillows. "What did you do that for?" he demanded.

"You laughed at me!" she teased. "What about Annabeth?"

"She's a werewolf, and she saw me holding your picture," Remus admitted.

"So she knows that we're friends?" Tonks gasped.

"I think so," Remus agree grimly. "That's the bad news. The good news is that Greyback trusts me."

"Oh, Remus, that's wonderful!" Tonks exclaimed.

"I'm friends with his daughter."

"Greyback—the savage, killer werewolf who made your life a misery—has a daughter?"

"Yes, and I should go because I don't know how long she can cover for me," Remus said, shifting uncomfortably.

"Not just yet," Tonks said, tilting her head up to kiss him.

Remus gently placed a hand under her chin and kissed her. As soon as their lips met, it was if nothing had changed between them. Tonks moaned slightly and leaned against him. He continued to kiss her until he felt her warm hands roving beneath his robes.

He pushed her away. "Tonks!"

She looked at him, pain in her eyes. He kissed her forehead. "We can't, Tonks. I've told you a million times we can't."

"Please, Remus. We can leave for a while. No one will ever have to know. I can make your potion myself. I've practiced and Kingsley says it's right. I'll never forget. You can leave the werewolves; just stay here with me. You could be happy for a change. Although, something tells me that being happy's just about the last thing you want."

"I want to be with you, Tonks. I want to be happy. But I just want you to be safe. If I contaminated you…If I killed you…I could never forgive myself."

"What kind of Gryffindor are you? Take a chance for once. Be brave. Don't give me any more of this "dangerous" rubbish. You're a coward and you know it!" Tonks spat.

"Maybe I am. But if my being a coward will keep you safe, then I'll do it," Remus said. "Even if it kills me."

"What makes you think I want to be protected? I could die any day doing my job. I'm an Auror, Remus! Death is just another job hazard for me. Didn't it ever occur to you that I'm losing sleep over you? That could be the end of me right there. If I die as an Auror, it might as well be your fault. How can I keep up my 'constant vigilance' when I don't get any sleep?"

Remus fidgeted, guilty. He couldn't bear to see her suffer like this. "You need to sleep, Tonks. Don't worry about me. Find someone else. Maybe take a vacation. I don't care, as long as you're safe."

"Well, you're a bloody idiot if you think I'm going to do that," she grumbled. "Really, Remus, I thought you knew me better."

"Tonks," he said gently, taking one of her hands, "please. Don't be so stubborn."

"You're being just as stubborn," she said. "I love you, Remus, and I don't care how old, poor or dangerous you are. This is killing you, I can tell it is. You hate it there. I can't believe Dumbledore is making you do this. You don't belong there. I don't care what's wrong with you. You're not one of them!"

He smiled sadly at her. "I know. But he did need a spy and I was the only one eligible for the job." 

"We don't need a spy on the werewolves. I thought he trusted Snape to spy on Voldemort himself. Why does he need you to keep an eye on the werewolves?"

Remus sighed. "I've already told you; he thinks I can convince some to come over to our side."

"And from what you've told me, it seems the only one willing to is Sara. Just tell Dumbledore it's not working. Tell him you can't. Please, it's not safe. Why are you allowed to worry about my safety when I'm not allowed to worry about yours?" She had stood and was now pacing in front of the couch.

"I never said you couldn't worry. I just asked you not to," Remus replied, also standing. "I really do need to get going. Even if Greyback isn't expecting me back until tomorrow, I need sleep."

"Don't go," Tonks pleaded. "You can stay here with me."

"I shouldn't."

"I don't care! You need somewhere to stay and you're already here. You can have my bed. I'm sure it's been a while since you've slept in a proper bed. Go on, it's just through there." She gestured to a door that stood slightly ajar.

"I'm not going to take your bed, Tonks," Remus protested.

"You're not sleeping on the couch." She looked dangerous now and Remus knew arguing was going to get him nowhere.

"Neither are you," Remus said, knowing it was futile. "You look exhausted enough as it is and sleeping on the couch isn't going to help that."

"You look every bit as exhausted as I do and you have a much more dangerous job." She grabbed his wrist and dragged him into her room, shoving him down on the bed. "Goodnight." She turned to leave.

"It's your bed. You should stay in here."

"And you're my guest. I should be hospitable to you." Then she grinned. "I think, Remus, that a compromise is in order."

"A compromise?" Remus asked warily.

"Yes. We'll both sleep in here." She smiled, hung her robe on back of her door and climbed into bed next to Remus.

He sat up. "Tonks!"

"Relax, Remus. You just about bit my head off when I tried to seduce you earlier. I'm not going to try it again. At least not tonight…" She gave him another mischievous grin, propping elbow up on her pillow.

Remus groaned but he lay back down and relaxed slightly. "I hope that doesn't mean in the morning."

"You never know." She winked at him and Remus couldn't help but smile at her. She rested her head down on the pillow again, still facing him. "I love you, Remus."

"I—uh…" He trailed off, not wanting to tell her how he felt. She didn't look surprised but she did look a little hurt. He couldn't bear to see her suffer like this. "I love you, too, Tonks," he said, relief flooding through him as he finally spoke the words. "I love you, too."

She smiled again. "Y'know, Remus, you can call me Dora."

"I love you, Dora," he whispered as he kissed her forehead. "That's why I have to do this."

"You don't have to do anything," she mumbled, closing her eyes. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Remus replied, yawning. He was so tired that he fell asleep as soon as he closed his eyes.


	5. Chapter 4: A Surprise

Chapter 4: A Surprise

When Remus woke, the scent of pancakes caught his attention. He slid out of bed and headed for the kitchen, where he found Tonks making breakfast. "Good morning, Remus," she said cheerfully, tipping a pancake onto a plate for him. "The syrup's already on the table. There's whipped cream, too."

"Thanks," he said sleepily, taking the plate. "You didn't have to go to all this trouble for me."

"I don't often have guests," Tonks replied. "It's the least I can do." Remus poured syrup on his pancake as Tonks put a one on a second plate and joined him at the table. She drenched it with syrup before spraying whipped cream over it. Remus raised an eyebrow at her. "What?" she asked, cutting into it.

Remus laughed. "Don't you think that's a bit much?"

"There's nothing like a sugar rush to wake you up, if you ask me," Tonks explained, taking a bite. Remus shook his head and sighed.

They didn't speak much as they ate but Tonks tried to keep a light banter going which Remus responded to, though he often took a moment or two to speak. His mind was on Greyback and he worried that he might get caught. Once he finished his breakfast, he carried the plate to the sink, where he washed it. Tonks had finished hers too and he washed her plate as well. She was just about to put them away when there was a knock at the door.

"Dawlish! Damn. I forgot he was coming." She looked around frantically. "Remus, go hide somewhere for a minute. Don't you dare Disapparate on me."

"I wouldn't," he said. "It would make too much noise," he added under his breath. Tonks heard and she elbowed him in the stomach. "Sorry," Remus apologized. "Going to hide now."

"Good," Tonks said, sprinting for the door as Remus concealed himself in the pantry, adding a Disillusionment charm just in case. He heard a slight crash then the door opening.

"'Morning, Dawlish," Tonks said pleasantly, stifling a yawn.

"Good morning, Tonks," he replied pompously. "I'm sorry I came a bit later than planned but I was delayed slightly on my way here." He paused. Remus supposed it was to allow Tonks to ask what had delayed him. When she said nothing, he continued, "It's very kind of you to allow me to stop by on such short notice." 

"It's nothing," Tonks said. There was a slight darkness to her tone that made Remus smirk. It was obviously something. He carefully left the pantry, trusting his charm to keep him hidden, so he could watch the exchange.

Dawlish apparently didn't notice it because he continued on in the same tone as before. "I suppose you have everything ready to show me?"

Tonks gulped and swayed slightly on the spot. "My report isn't completely finished, but if you would like to compare notes, they're over here on the coffee ta—Whoops!" She tripped over Remus's foot.

"Are you all right, Tonks?" Dawlish asked her.

"Yeah, just tripped, that's all. Having two left feet makes life a bit of a challenge sometimes." She sighed and when Dawlish bent over the coffee table to grab Tonks' report, she shot a furtive glare in Remus's dicrection.

He shrugged and mouthed the words, "I'm sorry," before realizing she couldn't see him anyway.

"What are you looking at, Tonks?" Dawlish asked, looking up from the papers he was holding.

"Nothing," Tonks said. "Just a little tired still." She forced a yawn.

"I see, I see," he replied. "Everything seems to be in order." He sifted through the papers again. "Keep up the good work."

"I will," Tonks replied dutifully. When Dawlish tucked the papers into his coat pocket, Tonks took the opportunity to pull a face in Remus's direction.

"Would you mind making a cup of tea for me, Tonks?" Dawlish asked her as she turned to face him again.

"No, not at all," Tonks lied. "Have a seat at the table." She motioned to the seat she had occupied during breakfast.

"Was someone here earlier?" Dawlish asked. "I see there are two glasses on the table."

"The second's my spare," Tonks said without hesitating. "I usually break the first. I was lucky this morning." Remus smiled. She might be clumsy but her mind was anything but.

"I see," Dawlish said. Lacking in intelligence as he was, he believed her. Tonks put a kettle on the stove and pulled up the chair next to Dawlish, setting a tea cup and bag on the table. "How have things been for you lately, Tonks?" he asked conversationally, tracing a knot on the table with his finger.

"Fine," Tonks said tersely.

"You haven't looked fine on duty lately. You seem ill and I haven't seen you morph for a while. Frankly, I'm worried about you."

"I told you, I'm fine." Tonks looked as though she wanted to strangle him, but Dawlish didn't notice. Instead, he decided to continue the conversation.

"I hear you were seeing someone who broke up with you a few months ago. Is that true?"

"So what if it is?" Tonks' voice was growing colder by the second. If Dawlish wasn't such a git, Remus would actually have felt bad for him. Being on the receiving end of Tonks' anger was not a pleasant situation.

"I just wondered if you were lonely, that's all. If you're not doing anything tonight, we could stop by the Three Broomsticks, maybe have some Butterbeer or Firewhisky."

"No, thank you."

"C'mon, Tonks, live a little. I can show you a good time, and believe me, you look like you could use one around now."

"I'm fine, thanks. I'd rather not." 

"It's just one night, Tonks."

"Dawlish, I think we're finished here." She stood up, taking his empty cup and putting it in the sink.

"What's wrong?" He put an arm around her shoulder.

"Leave me alone or I'll hex you," Tonks snarled.

"Okay, okay, I get the hint. You think you're too good for me, don't you?"

"Uh…" Tonks hesitated on this one.

Remus saw what Dawlish was trying to do a second before Tonks did. He quickly removed the spell and grabbed Dawlish by the collar. "You keep your hands off her!"

"Who are you?" Dawlish asked, sounding nervous.

"A friend. Now leave Tonks alone. She's obviously not interested in you."

"All right, all right, I'll leave." Remus set Dawlish down and followed him, making sure he left. Once the door was shut, Remus returned to the kitchen where he found Tonks sitting with her head in her hands.

"Is he gone?" she asked.

Remus nodded, sitting down in the other chair and scooting it closer to hers. "Are you all right?"

"Just a little shocked, that's all. I shouldn't be, come to think of it. Dawlish has been trying to get me to go out with him for a while now. I was still with you when he asked me out the first time. I guess the git overheard me talking with Kingsley about you."

"Is there anything I can do?" Remus asked.

"I can think of a lot of things you could do. I doubt you'd do any of them."

"Eat this at least," he said, handing her a piece of chocolate. "And drink this." He filled a glass of water and set it on the table in front of her.

"Thanks." She gave him a weak smile and took a sip. "I'm really sorry about all that. I've been avoiding him for weeks. I should've known he'd try doing something like that. I can't believe we're both stationed at Hogwarts. It's almost like Kingsley wants me to test the unforgivable curses out.

Remus laughed. "Well, if he gives you any more trouble, tell Kingsley about it. Kingsley can get him to leave you alone, I'm sure." He stood up. "I have to leave now. I'm supposed to be back before noon."

"All right," Tonks said. "It's been nice seeing you again. And thanks for, you know, everything."

"You're welcome," Remus replied warmly. "And thank you for letting me stay here."

"You can stop by anytime, honestly. If I'm not here, just Apparate in and make yourself at home."

"I'll remember that." He gave her a quick hug and then turned to Disapparate.

"'Bye," Tonks said sadly.

Remus waved as he turned on the spot and disappeared.


	6. Chapter 5: The Report

Chapter 5: The Report

It was just before noon when Remus met with Greyback to report his findings. "I see you brought no one with you. That is most disappointing," the older werewolf said. "Perhaps I shall send someone else next time. I wonder if Annabeth might have better luck. Yes, I suppose I'll send her." He looked thoughtful for a moment and then turned to Remus again. "Tell me, where did you look? We don't want Annabeth covering the same ground."

_Think, Remus, think_, he thought desperately. He had to lie, couldn't even mention London, couldn't let Greyback or Annabeth suspect he'd seen Tonks. "Scottish countryside." This was not going to go well. "I thought it might be a good place for werewolves to hide but either there aren't any or they've hidden themselves a bit too well."

Greyback smiled. "You've done well. Next time, I expect you to find someone. In the meantime, I think I'll send Annabeth to London next Saturday."

Remus's heart sank. _Not London. If she finds Tonks…Merlin, this can't be good._ But he couldn't let his fears show. "That sounds like a good idea. Although, I'm not sure it would be wise for a werewolf to hide in London."

"Why not?" Greyback mused. "Lots of human flesh nearby…"

Remus tried not to think about it. Greyback was planning on sending her over the full moon and Tonks all alone in her apartment…He had to warn her. He had no idea how; he knew only that he had to get her away from the city. It wasn't safe. She was a brilliant witch but with that Dawlish creeping around and Annabeth being so close on the full moon. He hated to think what would happen. _Although, _he thought with an inward smirk, _I wouldn't mind if she attacked Dawlish._

"Now, Remus, there's someone who's been anxious to talk with you and now that you've given your report, I think you'd better find Sara."

"Yes, sir," Remus replied with a slight bow. He turned and walked off casually toward the clearing Sara spent most of her time in.

"Remus!" Sara cried as soon as she saw him coming. "What happened? How did it go?"

"It went…better than expected," he said with a smile.

"Tell me everything."

Remus sat down on the log beside her. "I visited Tonks," he said. Sara shot him a look and he cleared his throat nervously. He opened his mouth to continue but hesitated when he heard footsteps behind him.

"I heard you were back, Remus," Annabeth said, stepping into the clearing. "Greyback told me I could find you here."

"I didn't realize you were looking for me," Remus replied, hoping Annabeth hadn't overheard what he had said to Sara.

"I just wanted to ask you something." Annabeth sat down next to him.

"What?"

"Have you had any contact with the woman in your photograph? Tonks?" She looked suspicious.

"No," Remus lied. "Why?"

"I just wondered. I used to know her, you see. She was always too inquisitive, that one. Always sneaking around. And she's an Auror now, I've heard. We don't want Aurors finding us, do we?"

"No, not at all," Remus said quietly. "We certainly don't want that."

"I've heard she's in London…perhaps I'll pay her a little visit this week just to make sure you're telling the truth. You may have convinced Greyback, but I don't trust you, Lupin. I don't trust you at all."

"I understand," Remus replied. "These days, it's hard knowing who to trust."

"At least you understand," Annabeth said. "But don't get too comfortable. If I can confirm my suspicions, I will be telling Greyback. I don't think you have him so wrapped around your finger as to prevent him from seeing reason once I find out the truth."

"You'll soon find there's nothing to find, then," Remus said, though he regretted it the instant the words came out.

"We'll see about that, won't we?" Annabeth smirked and stood, then strode into the woods leaving Remus and Sara alone.

"How does she know?" Sara whispered once she was certain Annabeth was out of earshot.

"I'm not sure," Remus said. "Perhaps it was just the photograph and the fact that I used to live among regular wizards. I don't think she believes my story completely."

Sara smiled sympathetically. "She can't prove anything, though."

"Not yet, she can't," Remus said darkly. "I'm so worried about Tonks. First Dawlish and now this." He groaned and buried his face in his hands. "I wish I could warn her to get out of there."

"Dawlish?" Sara asked curiously.

"Another Auror. He works with Tonks and apparently she's the only girl in the office who hasn't dated him yet. He tried to get her to go out for a drink with him when I was there."

"Did he see you?" Sara asked, her eyes wide.

Remus nodded. "He did. He cornered Tonks and I had to do something, so I got him out of her apartment."

"Remus, you idiot, you let yourself be seen?" Sara demanded. "What if Dawlish says something? What if Annabeth finds out?" She gave him an angry shove.

"I didn't think about it, Sara. I was worried about Tonks. I couldn't stand seeing that git with his hands on her."

"I know, Remus, but Tonks is a witch. She can take care of herself. That was really dumb of you, you know."

"I know, I know," he grumbled. "I didn't think. I just…had to do something. I shouldn't have even gone. Now Annabeth is going to look for her and she might get hurt. If I had just stayed here, everything would be fine and I could just forget about her for a while. And now…I just can't stop thinking about her. I'm so worried now."

"She's a big girl, Remus. She can look out for herself. You need to start looking out for you at the moment otherwise your neck's going on the chopping block and there's not much I can do to stop Dad once he's angry. He might even kill me too for being your friend." She shuddered. Her voice was quieter and slightly shaky when she spoke again. "Then again, I've had it coming for a long time. And I'll get to see Mum again."

"What happened to your mother?" Remus asked.

"She died a few years ago. I'm not surprised, really. It was only a matter of time, really. It's just an occupational hazard of living around my father."

"I'm sorry," Remus said.

"Don't be. She doesn't have to suffer anymore," Sara said with tears in her eyes. Remus offered her a handkerchief. "Thanks." She blew her nose. "Sorry, I don't usually get this emotional. I just…miss her, that's all."

"Did the two of you live here with him, then?"

"No, not long after I was born, she took me away. I was a werewolf, but she kept me away from other people, including herself. Greyback found us when I was seven and brought us here."

Remus felt another rush of sympathy for the girl sitting next to him. Despite his better judgment, an equally strong pang of curiosity forced him to inquire further. "What happened between Greyback and your mother?"

Sara turned away. "I don't like to talk about it. It was one of the last things she told me before she died and it was so horrible…I just can't talk about it now, Remus, okay?"

"I'm sorry I asked. I should have realized it was too painful."

"I'll tell you someday, I promise," Sara said. "I want you to know, really I do. You deserve to know. It'll make you feel a lot better about your own relationship with Tonks, I can tell you that. And speaking of Tonks, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you spent the night at her place. How did that go?"

Remus had to admire her ability to change the subject, though he had to admit, she picked another uncomfortable topic. "It wasn't as bad as it could have been."

"I suppose that's good." She didn't inquire further, although Remus could tell she wanted to.

"I've been such an idiot, Sara. I want to see her again but I've already put her in so much danger and I need to warn her and I don't know how. I suppose I could send an owl, but what if it's intercepted?"

"No one's going to intercept your owl, Remus. Just take one and write her a letter."

"I will. I'll tell her to go to the Burrow. Annabeth might think to look at her parents' house and I bet Dawlish won't find her there either!" Remus pulled a quill, ink and parchment from inside his coat and began writing while Sara found an owl. Once Remus finished the letter, he tied it to the owl's leg and sent it off just as Annabeth walked back into the clearing.

"I came to tell you that lunch is ready," she said with a smirk. "But I think we have something more important to discuss. Who did you send that owl to, Lupin?" She pointed her wand at his chest. "And don't even think about lying to me."


	7. Chapter 6: Confrontation

**Note: I wrote most of this in human bio and financial literacy without being able to reference previous chapters. Looking back, I probably should've written Remus' reaction to the end of the previous chapter, but I wanted to write from Tonks' perspective so that'll come in the next chapter. Anyway, I'm looking forward to a nice weekend of writing time.  
**

Chapter 6: Confrontation

The knock came almost exactly a week after the owl. Tonks stood, knocking over her class of pater in the process. A nagging sense of fear lurked at the back of her mind. _It's just Dawlish and I can take him. _The thought didn't completely reassure her. Remus had risked his cover to warn her. But then again, he could be a paranoid, noble prat at times. Smiling smugly at that last thought and pushing all doubts from her mind, she opened the door.

It wasn't Dawlish. A woman of about her height with matted, graying red hair stood outside the door. Her face was gaunt and her cheeks hollow. _It must be Annabeth_, she thought. _But she's no more of a threat than Dawlish. I can take care of myself no matter what Remus thinks._ "Who are you?" she asked, trying to sound surprised.

The woman smiled; her teeth were unusually pointed. Tonks recalled that they were sharp during their Hogwarts days but not to this extreme. "Surely you remember me," Annabeth said. "We were at Hogwarts together; in the same house, no less."

Tonks widened her eyes, hoping she appeared surprised. "Annie?" she asked. "Annabeth?"

Annabeth nodded. "The very same." The two women sized each other up for a moment. "I don't think I've ever seen you with brown hair."

"I'm older now. Being in the Auror office means being more mature." Tonks rolled her eyes. Of course it wasn't true, but how could she explain the truth to Annabeth without exposing Remus?

"I see. That's a shame. You were always so colorful. It was nice." Annabeth sighed. "May I come in? I've traveled a long way."

"Of course," Tonks said brightly. Refusal might seem suspicious. If she didn't let Annabeth in, she might take that as confirmation that Tonks had something to hide. "It's not much and it's kind of a mess, but it's mine so I suppose that's enough for me." She smiled warmly and shut the door as Annabeth stepped into the room.

"It's charming," Annabeth said. Her smile seemed fake now, but she softened it a bit when she noticed Tonks staring.

"You can have a seat if you want." Tonks gestured toward the sofa.

"Thank you. It's very kind of you to let me in when we haven't spoken in so long." Annabeth strode over to the couch and sat down. Tonks hesitated a moment before joining her.

"So why are you here, anyway? I mean, we haven't seen each other since after your fifth year at Hogwarts," Tonks said.

"I just wanted to catch up. Find out a bit about what you've been up to. I can't stay long, but I figured I'd drop by since I was in the area anyway." Annabeth crossed her legs and leaned into the arm of the couch, looking at Tonks as though trying to think of the best way to trick her into admitting she'd seen Remus. Then again, that could just be the Auror in her talking. Annabeth wasn't the cleverest person in the world. She often came to Tonks asking for help. Then again, she'd always been a bit nosy and a busy body. Sometimes Tonks wondered why she wasn't in Slytherin. After several tense moments, Annabeth spoke again. "So, how did things end up with you and Bill? I was so silly then, with that stupid crush on him, but I still wonder." She giggled slightly. Tonks found it equally creepy and annoying. Annabeth's giggle reminded her a bit of Umbridge and Tonks had had her fair share of unpleasant experiences with the latter of the two.

"Nothing ever happened between me and Bill," Tonks said. "That was just a rumor, as I've already told you. I never fancied him and I'm fairly sure he never fancied me. If anything, we were like siblings," Tonks explained. "Although, I think his Mum wishes it were different. She keeps inviting me for dinner like she hopes we'll fall for each other. But neither of us are interested. I do have to question his taste, though. The girl he's with now…" She sighed. "Well, she's nice enough, but she acts so superior sometimes. I suppose it's because she's French and she went to Beauxbatons and she's graceful and looks like a princess and I'm, well, none of that."

Annabeth laughed. This time, it was more genuine. "That's a shame, really. Your clumsiness is part of your charm."

"I wouldn't call it charm, really," Tonks said. "I mean, knocking over every suit of armor in the Great Hall in one go isn't exactly a turn on for most men."

"I remember that," Annabeth said wistfully. "Didn't Sprout give you detention for a week?"

"Yeah, but only because they landed on a first year. And because she was sick of my being a constant threat to the wellbeing of those around me, I suppose." She grinned. "But I didn't mind. I was always in detention for something or other anyway."

"So, no boyfriend, then, I suppose? Your clumsiness keeps them all at bay?" Annabeth asked. Her eyes were serious now, boring into Tonks and making her uncomfortable.

"Nope, no boyfriend," Tonks said. "Although, a git by the name of Dawlish keeps coming 'round trying to win me over. He keeps flirting with me at work, too. Can't stand him, though. But the idiot won't take no for an answer, so I have to brush him off every few days."

Annabeth's eyes gleamed for a moment. Tonks hoped it was just a trick of the light. "So," Annabeth began, "nothing's going on between you and a certain Remus Lupin?"

"No, not at all," Tonks said, trying to sound surprised. "Why?"

"I was just curious," Annabeth answered. She sounded disappointed. "He seemed to know you when I met him."

"He does. He's an old school friend of my cousin's. We met a few times." She tried to keep her face emotionless, but her eyes stung at the memory of Sirius' death. Perhaps if he were still alive, he would've been able to help her persuade Remus stay with her instead of going with the werewolves.

"So you haven't seen him recently?" Annabeth's eyes were hard to meet and Tonks struggled to meet them, afraid to look away.

"Not since Sirius died," she lied sadly.

"That's a shame," Annabeth said. Tonks was certain Annabeth didn't quite believe her. She glanced at the clock above the fireplace. "I really must be going. It was nice to see you again." Annabeth stood, her hand sliding along the back of the couch. "Do you want me to send Remus a message?"

"Just send him my best, I suppose," Tonks said, trying to sound uninterested. She stood as well and walked to the door with Annabeth behind her. She opened it and Annabeth stepped out.

"Good bye," she said, turning away, twirling something between her fingers.

"'Bye," Tonks said, shutting the door and leaning against it, letting out a sigh of relief. She righted herself and went into the kitchen, where she removed a can of Coke from the refrigerator. She sat down at the table and opened it, taking a sipof the Muggle drink she was rather fond of. _I didn't give anything away_, she thought. _There's no way she can get Remus with what I've told her. _

Still, the memory of the gleam in Annabeth's eyes and the smug grin on her face as she left Tonks' apartment twiddling something between her fingers left a nagging sense of doubt and Tonks wanted more than anything to talk to Remus, to warn him, just in case she was wrong.


	8. Chapter 7: Plans

Chapter 7: Plans

It hadn't been Remus's best week. Annabeth had been suspicious about the letter Remus denied sending to Tonks, and she was supposed to go to London on Saturday, where Remus knew she would interrogate Tonks. Sara was doing her best to reassure him, but he was still worried, despite knowing Greyback was growing suspicious of his odd behavior. It didn't help that Annabeth gave him a self-satisfied smirk every time she saw him. The more he saw it, the more tempted he was to just pack up and leave. If it had been anyone but Dumbledore who had sent him, he probably would have. Then again, he would be at the constant mercy of Tonks's badgering if he left. Why not marry her? Why not trust the potion? Why not give up the bloody martyr complex and let himself be happy?

No, despite his fears, he was better off here. She was better off without him. That's why he was so afraid for Tonks. It was the full moon. What if Annabeth paid Tonks a visit when she would transform? She was in so much danger and, as usual, it was his fault. He shouldn't have gone. Had he stayed, nothing would be wrong. Annabeth wouldn't be suspicious and she would believe the photograph was nothing more than a memory, part of an old life, not the woman he still loved despite himself.

But now it was Sunday morning and the werewolves were starting to fall asleep after a long night of transformation. All except Remus, that is. Even though he was exhausted, fear kept him awake. Now that he was back to his own mind, he was able to worry about Tonks again. For once, he wished the wolf could've kept him prisoner for longer. He didn't want to think or feel because it was worse than the beast that took over his mind. His wolf mind didn't remember Tonks, didn't have feelings for her, didn't worry about her safety, didn't have to see her bleeding and lifeless whenever its eyes were closed, didn't hear her screams. His wolf mind didn't feel this kind of pain. Of losing her over and over again. Every night before he fell asleep. In his nightmares. Yes, it would be easier to stay a wolf, to lose himself in those instincts. But then he remembered Greyback, who had done that very thing. It was Greyback's fault he was here in the first place. Greyback who had caused his life and the lives of so many others to be so filled with misery, especially Sara's. No, he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let go at the expense of others. Before he had come here, the mere thought of remaining wolfish wouldn't even have crossed his mind. He was starting to change, and not for the better. Maybe even Dumbledore's orders weren't enough to keep him here. He had to leave. But first, he had to find out what Annabeth had done in London. He had to know. Then, he could leave, go abroad, leave everything behind. Fake his own death. Maybe then Tonks would move on, find someone else. Yes. That was the best way. Once Annabeth gave her report, once he found out what she had done, then he could leave. He had to.

The pop that signaled Apparition woke him. Annabeth. He opened his eyes and sat up. Many werewolves remained asleep, but a few sat up groggily. Greyback was the only person who appeared alert. Remus looked around and located Annabeth, who was standing beside a man who was vaguely familiar to Remus, but he couldn't place where he knew him from.

Annabeth left him with Greyback and strolled toward Remus, looking quite pleased with herself. "I had a nice little chat with Tonks last night."

Remus stiffened. Surely she just meant a conversation; Tonks couldn't be a werewolf; she couldn't be dead. But what if Annabeth had gotten her to talk? "I'm sure that was enlightening," he said wryly.

"Not as enlightening as I had hoped," Annabeth admitted, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "But I do have a secret weapon. She held out a small potion bottle containing a muddy liquid and a similar container containing two short, mousy brown hairs. "I have a hunch that there's a certain Dawlish who might be a little more…talkative." She smiled, then turned away, letting her threat sink in as she walked back to Greyback and the new recruit. Remus decided to find Sara. Then, he knew, he had to leave. He couldn't stay here and leave Tonks in danger. He had to tell her—maybe have Molly do it—and then, he could go. He didn't know where. Anywhere would be fine, really. Anywhere but here and anywhere but with Tonks. Perhaps the Shrieking Shack? No, Tonks was stationed in Hogsmeade. But perhaps Snape could make his potion? No. He had to go somewhere far away from others. But first, he had to talk to Sara.

He found her at the far edge of the camp, still asleep. Making sure no one was watching, he crouched down. "Sara," he whispered, "wake up."

"What?" she mumbled sleepily.

"I need to talk to you," he explained, standing up again and disappearing into the forest to wait in the clearing. Sara arrived a few minutes later.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I'm leaving," he stated.

"Don't be a prat, Remus. Why would you leave?" Sara folded her arms and frowned at him.

"I have to warn Tonks about Annabeth."

"That again?" she rolled her eyes. "You had me worried there. But you're just leaving for a few hours."

"No, I'm leaving forever," he said. "I wanted to tell you goodbye. I can't come back. It'll just make things worse."

"I'm really sorry about this, Remus," she said, drawing a wand before he could react. She bound him with ropes. "_Accio_ parchment, _accio_ quill." The summoned items flew into her hands. She smoothed the parchment out on the stump. She began to write and spoke the words aloud so Remus would know the contents of the letter. "Dear Tonks, it's Sara, Remus's werewolf friend. He's being a prat again, not that that's a surprise. He wanted to abandon the mission, give you some warning and then ditch you again. But at the moment, I have him tied up, so don't worry." She stopped writing. "Okay, Remus, what's the problem this time?"

Remus stared at her. "This isn't fair, you know."

"I know," she said cheerfully. "Now, answer my questions."

"Annabeth has polyjuice potion and Tonks's hair. And she has some sort of plan to find out about me through Dawlish."

"Got it," she said, putting quill to parchment again. "Annabeth had yet another evil plot, Remus suspects. He saw her with polyjuice potion and your hair. And apparently she made some vague threats about this Dawlish fellow. Just a heads up. Your friend, Sara." She put the quill down, folded the parchment and whistled. When an owl swooped down, she tied the letter to its leg and sent it off. "There. Now that that's taken care of, do you promise to stay?"

"Why's it so important?" Remus grumbled.

"Two reasons. If you disappear, my Dad'll be suspicious and my head will be on the chopping block. Second, you're the closest thing to a real father I've ever had. I can talk to you and confide in you. I haven't been able to do that since Mum died. You're my family. If you ever decided to leave, please take me with you. I want to meet Tonks and the Weasleys. I don't want to stay here forever. You know I hate it here even more than you do." There were tears in her eyes but she blinked them away. "Don't leave me here alone with him again." She took his hand in both of hers. "I've already lost Mum. Don't let me lose you, too." She relased him from the ropes and he put an arm around her shoulder to give her a quick hug, then he took his arm back and put his hands in his lap.

"I won't leave yet. I'll wait until I have a way to bring you, too. I'd be willing to bet quite a lot that Molly Weasley would love to feed you a decent meal."

"And then what?" Sara asked. "Where would we go?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Remus said, running his fingers through his graying hair. "Molly would probably take you in, but it would be hard to work out arrangements for the full moon. I'm sure Tonks would love you; she'd probably say we should adopt you, but that would mean marrying her and subjecting her to the prejudice people have toward our kind. Not to mention the extra danger she'd be in with two werewolves running around every month. I suppose the only option for us would be to leave the country and live as Muggles. We can't register ourselves as werewolves without being tracked and I'm pretty sure you don't even exist as far as the official registries go."

"I don't," Sara agreed. "I've never even been into the real world. Not even to get a wand. This one was Mum's." She thought for a moment, then her face brightened. "Maybe we could go to America. I've heard some of the others talking about it. It sounds like the perfect place to disappear. Maybe I could go to a Muggle school and live a normal life and you really could be my father." Her eyes were wide with excitement and her words had sped up near the end. She looked at Remus expectantly.

He looked at the smiling girl beside him. Her short life had been filled with more misery than his own. All she wanted was a real family, a chance at a normal life. And she wasted Remus to be her father. If he was honest with himself, he already loved her like a daughter and wished he could take her away to give her a better life. But if he was reasonable, he also knew that it was unlikely to ever happen. He knew that Greyback had cursed them both, robbed them of a normal life, and kept them from what they wanted the most. In a way, the bond he had formed inadvertently by "creating" them both had already made them a family, in a way. He was responsible for both of their miseries and the reason both transformed monthly. He had also created two enemies. They weren't exactly powerful, but they were close to him and that, Remus realized, might just be enough. Sabotage had a power of its own. "I'll try," he said at last.

Sara's expression grew slightly more somber, but she was still smiling with more happiness than he'd ever seen from her. "It's better than nothing."

"Yes," Remus agreed, gazing at the overcast sky. "Yes, it is." Sara said something else, but Remus didn't hear. His find was far away, with a screech owl on a mission to London.


	9. Chapter 8: Concern

Chapter 8: Concerns

Tonks hated the Sundays when she had to go in to the office. Ordinarily, it was the day Proudfoot took over her post at Hogsmeade. She was supposed to work, but Kingsley had taken pity on her and given her two Sundays off a month. On one of the other Sundays, she went to her post in Hogsmeade, and the other was spent at the office, giving her monthly report with Dawlish. Today was the latter.

She wanted to go back to bed. The sky was grey and the air looked positively frigid. Today was a day to drink hot cocoa in bed with a good book. But there was work to be done. She could be a few minutes late, she decided, so she made herself a mug of cocoa anyway. She had just taken her first, scorching sip when there was a tapping sound and she looked up to find an owl at the window. Perhaps Remus was willing to keep up a correspondence after all.

She strode over to the window and opened it, shivering in the freezing air that came in with the bird. She untied the letter and sent it on its way again, closing the window behind it. She went into the living room, her drink forgotten, and curled up on the couch to read. The handwriting was unfamiliar, she noticed, but as she read, she realized it wasn't Remus writing to her this time. She had to admit that this Sara knew how to handle him and wanted to congratulate her. She also wanted to tell Remus that she was glad he had someone else to keep him in line while she was so far away.

For now, she didn't have to worry about him. Her main concern was Dawlish. He had seen Remus and Annabeth would certainly get that out of him with her intended disguise. While Tonks wasn't thrilled about the means with which Annabeth planned to interrogate Dawlish, she couldn't do anything to stop her. All she could do was make Dawlish forget.

Today was going to be interesting.

Tonks Apparated into the Atrium of the Ministry and made her way toward the lift, accidentally bumping into Arthur Weasley. "Wotcher," she said.

"Good morning, Tonks," Arthur replied cheerfully. "Molly's been worried sick about you, and frankly, I am too. Why don't you come around for dinner tonight?"

She hesitated for a moment, trying to think of the most polite way to refuse the invitation. But then again, she had nothing better to do, and with Sirius dead and Remus completely unavailable, Molly was her sole confidant. "I'd love to, thanks," she said, forcing a smile.

"Dinner's a six," he said. The lift had arrived at his floor and he exited.

When Tonks arrived at the Auror's office, she was mentally practicing memory charms. As an Auror, she had placed a few in her time, but she had to keep everything in tact except for his memory of seeing Remus. Sounded easy enough. But with her inability to morph, she had also lost faith in some of her other magical abilities.

She sat at her desk, hoping Dawlish would attempt to ambush her there, rather than out in the main corridor where someone might walk past. Scanning her surroundings quickly, she picked up the paperwork Kingsley had left for her and began to fill it out. She had finished and was looking over it for mistakes when she noticed a photograph she had forgotten was on her desk: she stood between Remus and Sirius, an arm around both of them. All three were laughing and her hair was bright pink. She smiled sadly at the memory before tucking the picture in the front of her robes. It was lucky timing, too, for a voice came from behind her just as it was tucked away.

"'Afternoon, Tonks." Dawlish came around to the front of her desk and leaned against it.

"Why don't you go bother someone else for a change?" she grumbled. She had knocked over her inkwell in surprise, staining some of her recently completed work. "Damn it. Now look what you made me do!"

Dawlish chuckled. "I think that was your own clumsiness there, sweetheart," he said. "It wasn't my fault."

"You distracted me," she protested, fingering her wand.

"Yes, I am very distracting, aren't I?" He leaned on her desk, raising an eyebrow in what Tonks assumed was supposed to be a seductive pose. Mostly, it just made her queasy.

"Go to hell, Dawlish." She lifted her wand.

"You aren't planning on hexing me, are you? I'm not sure even Kingsley could protect you from that inquiry."

"As tempting as it is," she said, flicking her wand, "I just need to get rid of this extra ink." It disappeared from her papers. "Although, I might just take you up on that if you continue to piss me off."

Dawlish chose to ignore the last part. "Now, let's go make this report."

"You can go first," Tonks offered as they walked toward Kingsley's office. "I need to make sure I got all the ink off."

"More likely, you're afraid my report's superior to yours so you don't want it sticking in his mind after he's already heard yours."

_Git_, she thought. _He'd have said something equally stupid if I'd volunteered to go first. _As he walked into Kingsley's office, she pointed her wand at his back and muttered, "_Obliviate._"

"Tonks," Kingsley's calm voice said. "Why don't you come in, too, so you can give a joined report."

"All right, Kingsley," she said, stepping into the office. She knew immediately why Kingsley wanted both of them. Dawlish's eyes had glazed over. She had forgotten about this side effect.

"Dawlish," said Kingsley," perhaps you should go home. You've worked hard and you look like you need some rest."

Dawlish looked confused for a moment, then said, "Yes, sir." He turned and left, shutting the door behind him.

"Tonks, have a seat." He gestured to the uncomfortable-looking char on her side of the desk. She did as she was told. "Now, tell me what happened to Dawlish."

"It's kind of a long story," Tonks said evasively, swinging her legs nervously and feeling like she was back at Hogwarts, being lectured by Professor Sprout for hexing one of the Slytherins who had made fun of her lime green hair.

"Listen, Tonks, I know a memory charm when I see one. What happened. I have plenty of time. It's Sunday, after all, and you and I both know very few people come in on Sundays."

"I'm guessing you won't take 'I don't want to talk about it' for an answer."

"That's a safe assumption," Kingsley said, starting to sound mildly weary. "Tonks, I really don't want to report you, but if you put a memory charm on Dawlish, I have to know why. I know you've been unhappy lately and I've made allowances for it, but I can't have you messing with other members of my staff. Dawlish isn't exactly my best friend, but he's close to Scrimgeour, so we have to deal with him. Tonks, if you can't tell me as your boss, at least tell me as your friend. I'm worried about you."

"It's Remus," she blurted without thinking. "He came to see me and Dawlish dropped by and saw him but he wasn't supposed to be in London, see, and one of the other werewolves is already suspicious of him and apparently she got hold of my hair and some polyjuice potion and plans to trick Dawlish into revealing he's seen Remus at my place. I had to make him forget to protect us both."

Kingsley was silent for a long moment before he replied, "It was still a bad idea. You should've gone to Dumbledore and told him. Now, I have to file a report on this and I hope for your sake there isn't an inquiry. I'll try to cover it up the best I can, but there's only so much I can do."

"Thank you Kingsley," she said, feeling slightly relieved. "I was just so worried about Remus and…" She trailed off, not sure how to say what she was feeling.

"I know," Kingsley said with a smile. "Thinking with your heart instead of your head. I understand. We're all worried about Remus. But at the moment, I'm more worried about you. I've never seen your hair brown so often, and, quite frankly, you look terrible. Have you been eating, Tonks?"

"I'm going to the Burrow for dinner tonight," she said.

"That's something at least," Kingsley replied. "Just make sure you keep eating. I can't lose one of my best Aurors, not now that Voldemort's back." He paused. "Now, about your report…"

An hour and a half later, Tonks had completely relived every single detail of her month in Hogsmeade. She stood to leave, the paperwork on Kingsley's desk. As she opened the door and began to step out, Kingsley spoke, "Tonks, I'm sorry about this mess. I'll do everything I can. And give my best to the Weasleys."

Tonks nodded. "I will. Have a nice day, Kingsley."

"Take care, Tonks," he said as she left, closing the door carefully behind her. She left the Auror office and walked down the hall to the lift. There were still five hours left until she had to be at the Weasleys' for dinner. There was plenty of time for a quick trip to Diagon Alley.

She exited the lift into the Atrium, which no longer contained the fountain she had grown accustomed to seeing. She had been told Dumbledore and Voldemort had destroyed it in a duel after she had been knocked out. _Wish I could've seen that_, she thought. Perhaps if she had, it would mean she had also gotten Bellatrix and Sirius would still be alive and maybe Remus would have stayed. He blamed himself for her injuries in the battle and Sirius' death—she still hadn't worked that one out—and maybe if neither had happened, he would have stayed with her. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she was startled by the familiar voice that said, "Good afternoon, Nymphadora."

"Dumbledore!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" She didn't bother correcting him on her name. It did no good and she was too relieved to see him to be bothered about it.

"I was on my way to meet with Scrimgeour," he replied. "Is something wrong?" he added, seeing the look on her face.

"I'm just...stressed," she said. It wasn't strictly a lie, but she didn't want to meet Dumbledore's eyes. She knew he could see right through her.

"I see," he said, trying to get her to meet his eyes. "It's about Remus, isn't it."

Tonks kept her eyes firmly on the floor, tracing one of the swirls on the tile with her battered shoe. "So what if it is?"

"I know you're worried about him, Nymphadora. But he's worried about you and I'm sure he doesn't want you to be unhappy. Now, I must be off. Scrimgeour doesn't like being held up, if I recall correctly."

Tonks gave him a slight smile, lifting her face. "No, he certainly doesn't."

Dumbledore returned her smile. "Goodbye," he said stepping toward the lift.

"'Bye," Tonks said, turning on her heel and vanishing with a pop, the unasked questions for Dumbledore still reeling through her mind.

Diagon Alley was nearly deserted and Tonks didn't blame anyone. It was much too cold for her liking. The wind picked up and she drew her cloak tighter around her as she climbed the steps to Gringotts, imagining the warm dinner that awaited her at the Burrow…

Tonks arrived early, much to Molly's delight. She was surprised to find the twins there, but apparently Molly disliked being left alone with Bill and Fleur—Tonks didn't blame her one bit for that—and often invited Fred and George over for dinner. Tonks sat in the kitchen with Molly, who refused every offer for help and checked her special clock every minute or two. "I can't believe Arthur isn't home yet. He's never this late on Sundays."

"That is odd," Tonks agreed. "But I supposed the Death Eaters are increasing the workload in his office with all the Muggle Baiting. I know my department is going crazy. I don't think Kingsley ever gets to see home anymore."

"IT's a shame," Molly said. "I just wish he wasn't department head." She sighed, taking another long look at the clock.

Seeing that dinner was almost finished, Tonks stood up. "Would you like me to set the table?" she offered.

"That would be wonderful, dear," Molly replied, gesturing to a cabinet with her wand.

Tonks summoned the plates and carefully guided them to the table, repeating the process with the silverware, goblets, and bowls. By the time she had laid out places for seven, Arthur had returned home. He exchanged security questions with a less-than-enthusiastic Molly, who began transporting food to the table.

"Dinner smells wonderful, dear," he said. Molly beamed at him.

Fred, George, Billy, and Fleur came into the room, taking their places at the table. "You're wonderful, Mum," Fred said as he took his first bite.

"Yeah," George agreed. "If you didn't invite us home for dinner, we'd probably starve."

"Only because your cooking's terrible," Fred retorted.

"Look who's talking." 

"I believe _I_ am the better cook here, my friend." 

Tonks sat silently, smiling slightly at the banter and trying to avoid looking in the direction of Bill and Fleur, who were feeding each other. She noticed Molly was glaring at the couple.

"Are you going to finished that, Tonks?" George asked, eyeing her uneaten potatoes.

Tonks looked up from picking at her food. "No, I don't suppose I am." She started to scoop them onto George's plate when Molly cleared her throat.

"Tonks, dear, you really should eat them." She shot a look at George.

"Okay." She sighed and picked up her fork. The food was, as always, delicious, but she had no appetite. She forced the rest of the meal down, listening to the friendly conversation around her and speaking only when addressed directly.

When the meal was finished, Molly began gathering dishes. The rest of the family and Tonks thanked her for the wonderful meal as she left for the kitchen. She stopped in the doorway and turned her head. "Tonks, would you join me for a moment?"

Tonks stood and followed her into the kitchen where a cloth washed dishes of its own accord. "Are you all right?" Molly asked once Tonks had shut the door behind her.

Tonks shrugged. "About the same as last time you asked, honestly." She picked up a towel to help Molly dry dishes but the older witch snatched it away. "You're a guest. Sit down," she ordered. Tonks obeyed and Molly continued, "I know you love Remus, dear, but he is right, you know. He's a nice many, but he's dangerous. He's just trying to protect you."

"I know!" Tonks snapped. "But I don't want to be protected." She looked down. "I just wish he could understand that."

"I think he does," Molly said gently. "But that doesn't mean he's willing to put you in danger. He really does love you. That's why he let you go."

"I know!" Tonks said angrily. "But that doesn't make him right." There were tears in her eyes now and Molly carefully set down the dish she was holding and ran to hug the woman who she had come to think of as a second daughter. For Tonks, it was like being in her mother's arms again for a moment, but the days were gone when an embrace could chase away fear and doubt and make all the problems go away. It still felt good, though. "Thanks, Molly," she muttered.

"It's nothing, dear," Molly said, gently releasing her.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you." 

"That's fine. I'm glad you came tonight. You certainly looked like you needed a good meal."

"I suppose I did," Tonks admitted. "Thanks again. I really must go now, though. Busy day tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Tonks." Molly went back to the dishes as Tonks left the room. She said a hurried goodbye to the rest of the family, still seated around the table, and took her cloak from a coat rack near the front door. She wrapped it around her before departing into the night air and Disapparated the moment she was outside the barrier.

Once home, she went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. On the table, she found the cold mug of unfinished cocoa which she smoothed out to reread as she put a kettle on the stove. Once she had finished reading, she tucked it in her pocket and started out the window, where flakes of snow were beginning to fall.


	10. Chapter 9: A New Mission

**Note: If you got emails saying there were several new chapters, sorry. I was trying to fix some typos in the earlier chapters and I had to re-upload and add them to the story. Anyway, the next few updates should be fast. I've been in a writing frenzy.  
**

Chapter 9: A New Mission

December brought more snow than Remus had seen in his life, and during the nights, it often froze over, leaving a layer of frost and ice between his bedding and the dirt. It was almost impossible to get warm and he hadn't been able to communicate with Tonks since October. He had considered sending her a Patronus, but he knew that could be even more dangerous than sending an owl, especially if she chose to answer in the same way. The two months without even being able to write to her had all but driven him crazy and he had to fight the urge to pack up and leave. The good news was that Annabeth hadn't left camp and thus hadn't had any opportunity to use the polyjuice potion.

Shortly after she arrived from her previous mission, he had recognized the man she'd brought back with her as the newly bitten werewolf from Arthur Weasley's ward at St. Mungo's. His name was Lawrence Terry and he was adjusting well to his new life in Greyback's camp. It was a shame, in Remus's opinion. He had seemed like a decent fellow in the hospital. But once society has labeled a person as an outcast, it becomes easier to corrupt him, and Lawrence probably didn't have anywhere else to go.

Remus found himself feeling grateful for the friends who had kept him on the right side. He was terrified to think that he might have ended up like Terry. His thoughts strayed instead to Tonks; she was the only person who could make him feel human. Even Sirius reminded him too much of the nights spent in the Shrieking Shack and running around the Hogwarts grounds. Sirius reminded him of the recklessness with which he had endangered his fellow students and, almost worse, he regretted not being able to save his friend's life. If he had taken Bellatrix at the beginning of the battle in the Department of Mysteries, he could have saved Sirius and protected Tonks from the injuries that had sent her to St. Mungo's. He should've gone for her first. He knew she had a vendetta against those in her family who, in her eyes, brought shame to the Noble and Ancient House of Black. In retrospect, it was obvious that she would go for Remus's two best friends: the daughter of her disowned sister and her oddball Gryffindor cousin.

Remus still woke up in the morning seeing Sirius fall through the curtain or Tonks lying motionless on the stone steps or in the bed at St. Mungo's, unconscious, the agony of losing them both as fresh as it had been as events unfolded at the Ministry. It was good for Tonks, though, that she had gotten hurt. As Remus held her cold, nearly dead hand in the hospital and looked at her pale face, he saw that she could again be in this same place if she married him and he forgot his potion. He knew then and there that he would never be able to live with himself for putting her here. It was then he realized that he couldn't continue the relationship. As soon as she was well again, he had ended it. He could still see the tears welling up in her eyes and feel the urge to wipe them away.

These were the images in Remus's mind as he huddled beside the fire with Lawrence, Annabeth, Greyback, and Sara. He thought of the cozy fire that was most likely burning in the Burrow and the wonderful breakfast being eaten there. Whatever it was certainly had to be better than this raw meat that was the werewolves' breakfast.

Sara's face was more hollow than Remus had ever seen it and he guessed he didn't look any better nourished. He smiled to himself as he pictured Molly fussing over Sara like her own daughter. She certainly looked as if she needed a decent meal. Greyback didn't seem concerned in the slightest about his daughter's well being. Remus realized that maybe this was precisely why Sara considered _him _her father. He treated her more like his daughter than Greyback did. His major concern at the moment, however, was Tonks. She had been nearly as gaunt as Sara the last time he had seen her. She obviously wasn't eating as much as she should. He knew how quickly a person could start to waste away when food was scarce. He'd already seen one werewolf die this month from lack of food.

Ever since he had seen the dead man, he had slipped Sara extra food off his plate, since she was so small and the cold and hunger were obviously starting to take their toll. She had refused the food at first—she was used to cold weather and lack of food—but she eventually gave in. It was something her mother had done for her long ago and her father never had, even though she had asked him to. He said everyone was given what they needed to survive, no more, no less. Sara had been shocked the first time Remus had given her extra food and told him this. Every meal since then, he had made sure to give some to her.

After the rather subdued breakfast, Greyback made an announcement: "Remus, I'm going to give you another recruit. Annabeth, you may go, too. Over the Christmas holidays, I want you, Remus to search the countryside and you, Annabeth, to return to London."

Remus merely nodded. Perhaps he could spend Christmas at the Burrow after all. But Tonks and Sara…Sara would have to stay here. Greyback wasn't going to let her go on a dangerous journey during the holidays. And beside that, he would be too tempted to leave her at the Burrow, which wouldn't go over well with Greyback. He might kill Remus for losing his daughter. And Sara would never let him do that.

Even worse was Annabeth, whose reaction upon receiving her mission was so enthusiastic that it made Greyback smile. Only Remus and Sara knew the real reason behind her excitement and they exchanged a brief, worried glance. Every time Remus thought about Annabeth using the potion to get information out of Dawlish, it made him feel sick. In fact, if he were to be completely honest with himself, the thought of Tonks, even an imposter Tonks, with any man but himself made him sick.

"Remus, are you all right?" Sara asked him, putting a hand on his arm.

"I'm fine," he said. "Just thinking about the mission."

She sighed and Remus could tell she knew what he meant. "Do you want to go for a walk? It might help warm you up," she suggested.

"That sounds like a great idea," he said, walking toward the forest.

"I could always steal the potion from Annabeth," Sara said, her eyes glistening in a way that reminded Remus of Sirius, James, and the Weasley twins. It was a shame she never got to go to Hogwarts; they would have been the best of friends.

"That wouldn't work. She'd know something was up."

"But to do so she would have to explain what she was missing and how she got it." She was practically bouncing with excitement.

"She's smarter than that, Sara. She'd just say she found out I visited Tonks when I was supposed to be in Scotland," Remus explained.

Sara frowned. "So I guess there's no way out of this now but waiting."

"And hoping Tonks was able to modify Dawlish's memory," he added. "If not, then we're both in trouble. I just wish you were right. I don't like the thought of Dawlish being with Tonks, even if it's not really her."

"I don't blame you. That's why I was hoping to take her potion away." She sighed. "Just try not to think about it."

"Sometimes, I can't help it."

Sara rolled her eyes. "It's a good thing she's stubborn. If she gave up on you, you'd be downright miserable."

"That's not true. I want her to find someone else, someone her age," Remus protested.

Sara laughed. "You're a terrible liar. You may want her to be happy, but face it, you don't like thinking about her being with anyone but you."

"Would you?" he snapped.

"Then stop being such a coward and marry her yourself if it bothers you that much!" Sara retorted. "I know you want to. I've seen the way you look when you talk about her."

"You know I can't do that!"

"Men," she huffed, "are idiots."

"Why do you think that? You don't know anyone outside this camp!"

"My dad is the world's biggest jerk and you are the world's biggest prat!"

"That's only two people, Sara," he pointed out.

Sara gave a loud "Hmph!" Then, she turned on her heel and stormed off back to the camp muttering to herself and leaving Remus alone in the snow.


	11. Chapter 10: A Weasley Christmas

**Everything in bold is from _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_, chapter 16: A Very Frosty Christmas**

Chapter 10: A Weasley Christmas

It was hard for Remus to even remember being cold as he sat beside the fire at the Burrow. Still, at the back of his mind was a picture of Sara huddled beside a bonfire that couldn't keep the cold from seeping into her bones. The goodbye had been hurried and now that Remus was warm, he regretted not bringing her with him. He was thinner than ever, according to Molly, and Sara was certainly in a worse condition. If anyone needed a home cooked, Molly Weasley Christmas dinner, it was her. It was much less painful to think of Tonks, who was probably spending the night with her parents. He wished she were here with him despite his desire to keep her safe. But at least in her parents' home, she would be far from London and out of Annabeth's reach.

He couldn't help but think of her as Celestina Warbeck's voice filled the room. It brought back too many memories of the previous Christmas, and Sirius, who had had one too many egg nogs, had waltzed and sung with an empty glass to the same song while Remus and Tonks laughed. He had turned to her and muttered, "I think it's a cauldron full of black coffee or ice water ne needs, not hot, strong love."

Tonks had winked at him and said with a flirtatious smile, "You can stir my cauldron any time," causing Remus to blush as she left the room.

The song changed and Remus looked up from the fire as Arthur said, **"I went and searched the Malfoys' house. There was nothing, either broken or whole, that shouldn't have been there."**

"**Yeah, I know,"** Harry replied. **"I saw in the Prophet that you'd looked…but this is something different…Well, something more…" **He hesitated. "When I went to Slughorn's party, I left for a few minutes and I saw Snape talking to Malfoy about an Unbreakable Vow he'd made and trying to get Draco to tell him about his assignment from Voldemort, but Malfoy refused to tell him. And Snape offered to help with whatever it was, though Malfoy refused that as well."

Remus watched Harry, feeling slightly amused. The boy was so like James in his feelings toward Snape it was almost unnerving. Harry had finished telling his story, leaving an uncomfortable sildence to be filled with Celestina's voice.

"_**Oh, my poor heart, where has it gone? It's left me for a spell."**_

Mr. Weasley shook his head and smiled faintly. **"Has it occurred to you, Harry that Snape was simply pretending—?"**

"**Pretending to offer help," **Harry cut in, **"so that he could find out what Malfoy's up to? Yeah, I thought you'd say that. But how do we know?"**

Remus had turned his chair around and took Arthur's silence as an invitation to answer himself. **"It isn't our business to know. It's Dumbledore's business. Dumbledore trusts Snape and that ought to be good enough for all of us."**

"**But just say—just say Dumbledore's wrong about Snape—"**

Remus smiled slightly. **"People have said it many times. It comes down to whether or not you trust Dumbledore's judgment. I do; therefore, I trust Severus."**

"**But Dumbledore can make mistakes. He said it himself. And you—" **Harry's green eyes bored into Remus with a strength reminiscent of Dumbledore's blue gaze **"—do you honestly like Snape?"**

Remus thought carefully before answering. He sighed then began, **"I neither like nor dislike Severus." **Harry's expression turned skeptical, forcing him to continue, **"No, Harry, I am speaking the truth. We shall never be bosom friends, perhaps; after all that happened between James and Sirius and Severus, there is too much bitterness there. But I do not forget that during the year I taught at Hogwarts, Severus made the Wolfsbane potion for me every month, made it perfectly, so that I did not have to suffer as I usually do at the full moon."**

Harry frowned and replied angrily, **"But he 'accidentally' let slip that you're a werewolf, so you had to leave!" **

"**The news would have leaked out anyway," **Remus said with a shrug. **"We both knew he wanted my job, but he could have wreaked much worse damage on me by tampering with the potion. He kept me healthy. I must be grateful."**

"**Maybe he didn't dare mess with the potion with Dumbledore watching him!"** Harry suggested.

Remus smiled slightly. He no longer blamed Sirius for treating Harry as if he were his father returned from the grave. "**You are determined to hate him, Harry. And I understand; with James as your father, with Sirius as your godfather, you have inherited an old prejudice. By all means, tell Dumbledore what you have told Arthur and me, but do not expect him to share your view of the matter; do not even expect him to be surprised by what you tell him. It might have been on Dumbledore's orders Severus questioned Draco."**

"…_**and now that you've torn it quite apart, I'll thank you to give back my heart."**_

As Celestina warbled out her final note, applause came over the radio, with Molly Weasley accompanying it in her enthusiasm.

Over

"**Eez eet over?" **Fleur asked dramatically over the continuing applause. **"Thank goodness, what an 'orrible—"**

"**Shall we have a nightcap, then?" **Arthur interrupted, standing up abruptly. **"Who wants egg nog?" **

Harry sat down beside Remus. **"What have you been up to lately?"**

"**Oh, I've been underground," **Remus replied, thinking of the caves to which the werewolves had moved for the winter only a week before he had left for the Burrow. **"Almost literally. That's why I haven't been able to write, Harry; sending letters to yu would have been something of a giveaway." **Sara had offered to write to Harry for him—she wanted a pen pal of her own age—but Remus had asked her not to. Writing to Harry was more dangerous than writing to Tonks, which he had decided not to do again unless it was urgent.

"**What do you mean?" **Harry asked curiously.

"**I've been living among my fellows, my equals." **Harry gave him a blank stare and he added. **"Werewolves. Nearly all of them are on Voldemort's side. Dumbledore wanted a spy and here I was…ready made." **His voice was bitter and frustrated since, by most, he meant all but himself and Sara. He smiled, though, as he continued. **"I am not complaining; it is necessary work and who can do it better than I? However, it has been difficult gaining their trust." **_At least in the case of Annabeth and her friends, _he added mentally. **"I bear the signs of having tried to live among wizards, you see, whereas they have shunned normal society and live on the margins, stealing—and sometimes killing—to eat." **

"**How come they like Voldemort?" **Harry sounded surprised and Remus didn't blame him. He had wondered the same thing before living with them.

"**They think that, under his rule, they will have a better life. And it is hard to argue with Greyback out there…" **_Breathing down my neck all the time, _he thought. The caves made it harder. There was no forest to hide in and sound carried too well underground for him to speak without being overheard.

"**Who's Greyback?" **asked Harry.

"**You haven't heard of him?" **Remus felt his hands clench up involuntarily. **"Fenrir Greyback is, perhaps, the most savage werewolf alive today." **_Though Annabeth might just take over that spot with a little effort. _**"He regards it as his mission in life to bite and contaminate as many people as possible; he wants to create enough werewolves to overcome the wizards. Voldemort has promised him prey in return for his services. Greyback specializes in children. Bite them young, he says, and raise them away from their parents, raise them to hate normal wizards." **He realized all over again how lucky it was that Sara's mother had raised her to hate her father. If she hadn't, Remus wouldn't have one ally among the werewolves. **"Voldemort," **he continued, **"has threatened to unleash him upon people's sons and daughters; it is a treat that usually produces good results." **He paused before adding, **"It was Greyback who bit me."**

"**What?" **Harry exclaimed in surprise. **"When—when you were a kid, you mean?"**

"**Yes. My father had offended him. I did not know, for a very long time, the identity of the werewolf who had attacked me; I even felt pity for him, knowing by then how it felt to transform. But Greyback is not like that. At the full moon, he positions himself close to victims, ensuring that he is near enough to strike. He plans it all. And this is the man Voldemort is using to marshal the werewolves. I cannot pretend that my particular brand of reasoned argument is making much headway against Greyback's insistence that we werewolves deserve blood, that we ought to revenge ourselves on normal people."**

"**But you are normal!" **Harry protested. **"You've just got a—a problem—"**

Remus laughed. **"Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit." **He smiled slightly at the memory of Sirius telling his Ravenclaw girlfriend that his non-existent rabbit was named Mr. Tibbles.

Arthur broke into his thoughts with a glass of eggnog. "Thanks," he said, his smile broader now.

"**Have you ever heard of someone called the Half-Blood Prince?" **Harry asked, sounding excited.

Remus was taken aback by the question. **"The Half-Blood what?"**

"**Prince," **Harry repeated, gazing intently at Remus.

"**There are no Wizarding princes. Is this a title you're thinking of adopting? I should have thought being 'the Chosen One' would be enough," **he added with a smile.

"**It's nothing to do with me!" **Harry sounded offended. **"The Half-Blood Prince is someone who used to go to Hogwarts. I've got his old Potions book. He wrote spells all over it, spells he invented. One of them was Levicorpus—"**

"**Oh, that one had a great vogue during my time at Hogwarts. There were a few months in my fifth year when you couldn't move for being hoisted into the air by your ankle." **He grinned, remembering a few of his own experiences with the jinx.

"**My dad used it. I saw him in the Pensieve, he used it on Snape."**

Remus gave Harry an understanding smile. He still remembered the urgency in Harry's tone when he had appeared in the Grimmauld Place fire. **"Yes, but he wasn't the only one. As I say, it was very popular…You know how these spells come and go…"**

"**But it sounds as if it was invented while you were at school."**

"**Not necessarily. Jinxes go in and out of fashion like everything else."** He paused and quickly glanced around before adding in a whisper, **"James was a Pureblood, Harry, and I promise you, he never asked us to call him Prince."**

"**And it wasn't Sirius or you?"**

"**Definitely not," **Remus said firmly, though he allowed himself an inward chuckle at the thought of being the Half-Blood Prince.

"**Oh, I just thought—well, he's helped me out a lot in Potions classes, the Prince has."**

That alone should have convinced Harry that he wasn't the Half-Blood Prince. Remus was dreadful at Potions. **"How old is this book, Harry?"**

"**I dunno, I've never checked."**

"**Well, perhaps that will give you some clue as to when the Prince was at Hogwarts." **

In the silence that followed, Fleur began sing a rather off-key and derisive imitation of "Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love." Molly was glaring daggers at hand Remus knew it would be wise to leave the room before an argument erupted. He climbed the stairs and went into the dark bedroom he was staying in. He shut the door behind him, changed into his pajamas, and lay in bed, eyes open, staring at the ceiling, his thoughts with Sara, sleeping on the cold, rocky floor of a cave…

When he woke the next morning, he didn't even remember falling asleep. At the foot of his bed was a lumpy parcel containing a navy blue sweater and several bars of chocolate. He dressed and pulled the sweater on before going downstairs where the Weasleys, Fleur, and Harry were already gathered around the table. Remus took a seat beside George.

Molly's hat and necklace, apparently, were new, for she said of them, **"Fred and George gave them to me! Aren't they beautiful?"**

"**Well," **George said, **"we find we appreciate you more and more, Mum, now that we're washing or own socks. Parsnips, Remus?" **he added, offering Remus a serving platter. Remus scooped a few onto his plate, looking up when he saw Ginny leaning across the table toward Harry, who was sitting on Remus's other side.

"**Harry, you've got a maggot in your hair."**

Fleur shuddered, looking disgusted. **"'Ow 'orrible."**

"**Yes, isn't it? Gravy, Fleur?" **Ron offered. He reached out hastily to help her, but instead ended up knocking the gravy boat over.

Bill quickly restored it with a flick of his wand. Fleur kissed him, then turned to Ron. **"You are as bad as zat Tonks." **Remus stiffened, forcing himself to remain quiet and not jump to her defense. **"She is always knocking—"**

"**I invited **_**dear**_** Tonks to come along today," **Molly cut her off, **"but she wouldn't come. Have you spoken to her lately, Remus?" **

"**No, I haven't been in contact with anybody very much. But Tonks has her own family to go to, hasn't she?"**

"**Hmmm. Maybe. I got the impression she was planning to spend Christmas alone, actually." **She glared at Remus from across the table and his guilt soared. He knew Molly protected Tonks like her own daughter; he knew she had hoped Tonks would Marry Bill and that her plans had been thwarted when she fell for Remus instead and now she was getting stuck-up Fleur for a daughter-in-law. But most of Remus's guilt was in finding out that Tonks was eating Christmas lunch by herself in her apartment. If he had known, he might have risked going to London to be with her. No one should be alone on Christmas, least of all the woman he lved.

"**Tonks' Patronus has changed its form," **Harry said to Remus. **"Snape said so, anyway. I didn't know that could happen. Why would your Patronus change?"**

Remus had to think for a moment to decide how to answer without admitting his fault in the matter. Fortunately, he had just taken a bite of turkey, so he chewed it slowly. When he swallowed, he spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully. **"Sometimes…a great shock…an emotional upheaval." **Silently, he commended himself for not saying "falling in love with a werewolf," which he might have on less sleep and without that saving bite of turkey.

"**It looked big and had four legs," **Harry muttered, likely to himself. **"Hey…it couldn't be—?" **Remus froze, praying Harry didn't realize it was him.

He was spared the anxiety when Molly cried, **"Arthur!" **Both Remus and Harry turned to follow her gaze out the kitchen window. **"Arthur—it's Percy!"**

"**What?" **Arthur asked, startled.

"**Arthur," **Molly said again, her voice more frantic than before, **"he's—he's with the Minister!"**

The Weasley parents exchanged a glance and Percy stepped into the kitchen through the back door. There was an awkward silence before Percy said, with an air of over-the-top formality, **"Merry Christmas, Mother."**

"**Oh, Percy!" **Molly hugged her prodigal son and Remus saw Scrimgeour in the doorway, watching the reunion and smiling.

When Molly looked in the Minister's direction, he spoke, **"You must forgive this intrusion. Percy and I were in the vicinity—working, you know—and he couldn't resist dropping in and seeing you all."** Remus snorted. Anyone who could see Percy's face would know Scrimgeour was lying, and Remus would've seen through the lie anyway. He knew from Tonks that the Minister, when he had been head of the Auror department, never complied with the requests of his inferiors unless there was something in it for him. Tonks had often complained about this to Remus, especially since his sense of personal gain usually involved gaining some sort of information. He remembered how worried she and Kingsley were whenever they found out Scrimgeour wanted to talk to them. From the sound of things, after Voldemort and Fudge, he had been the biggest danger to the Order the year before.

Molly straightened her hat nervously. **"Please come in, sit down, Minister. Have a little purkey, or some tooding…I mean—"**

"**No, no, my dear Molly. I don't want to intrude, wouldn't be here at all if Percy hadn't wanted to see you all so badly."**

"**Oh, Perce!" **she kissed her son.

Remus was even more disgusted. He wondered if Tonks had ever been the scapegoat for one of Scrimgeour's ulterior motives.

"**We've only looked in for five minutes, so I'll have a stroll around the yard while you catch up with Percy. No, no, I assure you I don't want to butt in! Well, if anybody cared to show me your charming garden…Ah, that young man's finished, why doesn't he take a stroll with me?" **he said, motioning to Harry.

The mood suddenly became somber. Remus finally realized what it was Scrimgeour wanted and he wanted to make sure he didn't get it.

"**Yeah, all right," **Harry said, standing. Remus started to stand as well, to keep Harry from passing him, to push him back into his chair. **"It's fine," **Harry muttered. **"Fine," **he repeated, for Arthur had opened his mouth, likely to aid Remus in protesting.

"**Wonderful!" **Scrimgeour held the door for Harry. **"We'll just take a turn around the garden, and then Percy and I'll be off. Carry on, everyone."**

After he shut the door, the Weasleys and Remus exchanged awkward glances. "I'll give you some privacy," Remus said, leaving the room. He thought about going back to the werewolves. He deserved to spend Christmas alone. He thought of Tonks in her small London flat and his throat caught. It was all his fault. She was wasting away, pining for him. There was no decision, really. He knew what he had to do. Risking everything, he scrawled out a note for Molly, gathered his belongings, and Disapparated.


	12. Chapter 11: A Christmas Surprise

Chapter 11: A Christmas Surprise

Once again, Remus found himself in the hall outside Tonks's flat. He looked around nervously as he knocked on the door, worried that Annabeth could appear at any moment. Perhaps leaving the safety of the Burrow hadn't been such a good idea after all, but he couldn't let Tonks spend Christmas alone.

After several tense minutes, Tonks appeared at the door, rings around her eyes, face ghostly white, and hair limp and brown. "Remus? What are you doing here?" she asked in surprise. "Come in."

He followed her inside. "Molly told me you were planning to spend Christmas alone."

"Molly? When did you talk to her?" Tonks went into the kitchen and pulled a kettle from a cupboard. She dropped it and Remus stepped up behind her.

"Let me do that," he said, taking it from her. He filled it at the sink. "I was going to spend Christmas at the Burrow. Molly said she invited you. Why didn't you come?"

Tonks looked down. "I, uh, didn't feel like eating a big dinner while you were eating rats." She sat down and rested her head on her arms.

"Tonks, you know I want you to eat no matter where I am. What were you planning to have for dinner?" He set the kettle on the stove.

Tonks shrugged. "I dunno. I didn't really think about it."

Remus sighed, then began going through her cupboards. There was remarkably little food there. A few boxes of cereal were all he found, and the only thing in the freezer was an expired box of frozen waffles. "Perhaps we should eat out," he suggested.

"It's Christmas, Remus. What would be open today?" Then her eyes brightened. "Except…How do you feel about Chinese?"

"Chinese?" he asked in surprise.

"There's a Chinese place just down the block from this building. They were open earlier today. Let's go."

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?" she asked.

"Annabeth's here in London."

Tonks's face fell. "I suppose I could always call for takeout…Or—wait! I have an idea." She left the room as Remus poured the now-boiling water from the kettle into two tea cups.

A few moments later, Tonks returned with a scarf, hat, and trench coat. "Here." She thrust them into his hands. "I enlarged them to fit you. Put them on. I couldn't find my balaclava so just wrap the scarf around your face. And hurry. I have one Christmas tradition I really like to keep and I don't want to keep you up all night watching the movie."

"What?"

"Oh, just something Dad used to do when I was a kid. Mum didn't really approve of television, so I didn't watch much, but there was a movie he was fond of that we'd watch ever Christmas. He said he used to watch it with his parents too. We also used to read _A Christmas Carol_, but that was the week leading up to Christmas. Oh, and Mum would make gingerbread men…I should've gotten her recipe. Not that I'd be able to make it the way she did—sorry, I'm rambling." She took a sip of the tea Remus had set in front of her. "Mmm. It's perfect. Just the way I like it. How did you know?"

Remus's face flushed slightly. "There are some things that I remember…about you in particular." Tonks smiled as she sipped her tea and watched him bundle up. She had already put on her coat and hat.

"When's the next full moon?" she asked him conversationally as she stood up.

"In a week. On New Year's day, to be precise." He gave a wry smile. "What a way to start of 1997!"

Tonks frowned sympathetically as they headed for the door. "I'm sorry. Oh, I wish you didn't have to go back! Maybe I'll just lock you up and keep you here with me."

He smiled sadly, opening the door for her. "We've had this discussion before. I _have_ to go back. I don't _want_ to."

"Don't you want to stay with me?"

"This isn't about what _I _want. I can never have what I want. This is about what I _should_ do. I should go back and I shouldn't stay with you."

"Then why did you come in the first place?" She pushed the "down" button for the lift.

"No one should spend Christmas alone," he insisted.

Tonks smiled sadly at him. "Well I'm glad to see it was all about your sense of nobility and not your feelings for me."

"Hey, I didn't say that!" he protested.

"I didn't say you did. It just seems so…I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if you even love me anymore."

"I do. I wouldn't have come if I didn't."

"Well, that's some good news at least." She slipped her gloved fingers into his and stepped onto the lift. "Oh," she whispered, "mistletoe."

"What?" Remus asked. In answer, she kissed him. Every ounce of sense, of nobility, in him told him to push her away, to end the temptation because every second the kiss dragged on was another second that had him questioning his reasons for leaving her, another second that he was leading her on after he had told her nothing could ever happen between them. He had broken up with her. He shouldn't even be here. But his heart won out and he returned the kiss.

The lift stopped again on the seventh floor and a woman and young girl who was certainly her daughter stepped on. "You should have the decency to keep this to yourselves and not in public, and on Christmas no less!" she said angrily. "There are children here."

Remus pulled away, embarrassed. "Sorry, ma'am. There was some mistletoe and she just couldn't resist."

The woman looked up. "I don't see any mistletoe." She looked down at her daughter. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Livvy."

The little girl shrugged. "It's all right. They're in love!"

Tonks had pulled Remus's scarf off his face, revealing the lines there and the woman noticed. "He's far too old for you, dear," the woman said to Tonks.

"That's what I keep trying to tell her," Remus explained, "but she just won't listen to me."

"So?" said the little girl—Livvvy. "What's wrong with that? If she loves him, it doesn't matter. My teacher says that love is blind."

"You tell them," Tonks said happily. "Maybe you can convince him."

"If he doesn't love you," the woman commented haughtily, "Then just give up and find someone your own age, you harpy."

Remus tightened his grip on Tonks's hand. "She is not a harpy. And I do love her. That's why I want her to find someone else." By now the lift had reached the ground floor and the argument had moved to the lobby of the building.

"You have a funny way of showing it. Come on, Olivia, let's go."

The little girl turned to her mother. "Grown ups are weird," she observed.

Tonks laughed. "See, she agreed with me."

"She can't have been older than six. And why did you lie to me, Nymphadora?"

"Don't call me Nymphadora! How many times do I have to remind you of that, Remmy?"

"Okay, okay, I suppose we need a compromise. I won't call you Nymphadora if you promise not to call me Remmy."

"It's a deal," she agreed as they stepped out into the snow.

"You still didn't answer my question."

"Well, I won't be able to kiss you at New Year's so I figured I should seize the opportunity as it presented itself."

He rolled his eyes. "I shouldn't have come. I just keep leading you on. I'll make sure you eat, then I'll leave."

"I won't eat at all then, so you can stay."

"Stop being so stubborn. You know I can't stay. Dumbledore needs me to spy on Greyback."

"You are such a hypocrite sometimes! Here you are, being all noble, trying to protect me from yourself and when I try to protect you, you won't let me."

"It's different," he protested. "I need to do this. It's important. Dumbledore wants me to do this."

"Don't you think that Dumbledore would want you to marry me. He's always going on about how important love is. Don't you think he'd be disappointed in you for ignoring it?"

"I think he'd understand my reasons. I've told you again and again that the reason I won't marry you is because I love you too much to put you in that kind of danger." He opened the door to the restaurant.

"And I've told you a million times that I don't care. When I'm with you, nothing else matters."

"It matters to me," Remus said quietly.

The old man behind the counter had watched their argument with amusement and once they stopped, he said, "If you don't mind listening to my advice, I have a suggestion for you, sir."

"Oh? What's that?" Remus asked as he and Tonks stepped up to the counter to place their order.

"Just give in. If the woman isn't happy, nobody's happy."

Tonks grinned. "Well, Remus, I believe that is two to nothing in my favor."

"That little girl doesn't count, and if you recall, her mother was on my side. The score is even."

The man shook his head. "You'll learn eventually, but it will certainly be the hard way from what I've seen. What would you like to order?"

"Hmm…" Tonks scratched her chin. "How about some fried rice, chow mein, Mandarin beef, and…I dunno. What do you want, Remus?"

He shrugged. "Whatever you want, Tonks."

"I told you that you last time you came over that you could call me Dora."

"But then I'd feel like your boyfriend," he protested.

"Just do what she says," the man said again. "It's easier than arguing."

"Anyway," Tonks said, "I think I'll have the sweet and sour pork as well. That should be all."

"For here or to go?"

Tonks and Remus exchanged a glance. "To go," she said.

"I'll get on it right away." The man left.

Tonks sat down in a booth and Remus sat across from her. "This is why I need a telephone. We could've just had it delivered."

"It's all right. This is a big city. Odds are she's on the other side of it," Remus said encouragingly. "Where does Dawlish live, anyway?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I never really cared to know, to tell the truth."

"I don't blame you," he said with a smile.

"Maybe Annabeth won't find him. I hope she doesn't."

"She has three days. She'll probably find him eventually."

"Like you said, though, it's a big city. She might not."

"She's quite resourceful, though, from what I've gathered." They sat in a rather subdued silence for a few moments, and Remus did everything he could to keep himself from thinking about what Annabeth could be doing at the moment.

"Your food is ready," the man said after a few moments, placing a large paper bag on the counter. "Would you like fortune cookies?"

"Yes, please," Tonks said as she and Remus stood and headed to pick up their food.

The man looked at something out of their sight, then, smiling faintly, dropped two fortune cookies into the bag. "Chopsticks?"

Remus glanced at Tonks. "No, thank you. I think we'll stick with forks. They give her enough trouble as it is." Tonks elbowed him in the ribs as he picked up the bag. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," the man replied.

Tonks took Remus's free hand and they left the restaurant. "It smells great," she said. "I haven't had anything this good in…a…long…time," she finished slowly and stiffly as she saw Remus's concerned look.

"Will you at least promise me you'll eat more. I don't care if I have to spend ever last Knut in my Gringotts account, I'll see to it that you eat."

"Don't waste your money on me," she replied quietly. "You have little enough as it is."

"Nothing I spend on you is wasted," Remus said firmly. "And maybe you'll eat if I pay for it. I've heard stories of Muggle girls who've died from just deciding not to eat anymore, and I've seen werewolves die from not having anything to eat. I don't want you to die and you have every opportunity to eat, so please, do this for me, if nothing else."

Tonks looked down; her mouth opened but no words came out. They had reached her building. "Thank goodness they heat this place," she said as they stepped into the warm building from the snow outside.

Remus merely smiled. They made their way to the lifts and the one they caught was, to Remus's relief, full of people. They got out on the twelfth floor and headed for Tonks's flat. She dug through her coat pocket for the key. Inside, Remus got out two plates, two forks, and serving spoons for each container of food.

"This is wonderful," Tonks said after swallowing a mouthful of chow mein. "The best Christmas dinner I've ever had."

"I think that's a bit of an exaggeration, Tonks."

"No, it isn't. You're here with me, safe, and I didn't have to help cook the meal."

"Did your Mum make you help her with Christmas dinner?" he asked interestedly.

"All the time." She grimaced. "She told me I'd never find a husband if I couldn't cook."

Remus laughed. "And what did you say to that?"

"I told her either that I didn't want a husband or that I'd find one who'd cook for me, depending on my mood. And it looks like I've made out pretty well. If I could get you to marry me, that is."

Remus took a bite of pork and shook his head. When he swallowed, he said, "You're fighting a losing battle."

"No, I'm not. I always win," Tonks said teasingly. "And I always get what I want. It's one of the perks of coming from the Black family."

"Heaven help us all," he said in mock fear.

"Let's see what my fortune is." She broke the cookie, pulled out the strip of paper and popped a half of the cookie in her mouth. "Hmm," she said, still chewing. "Ish says—" she swallowed "—the coming year will see much improvement in your love life." She gave him a pointed look. "Well, it'd better, Remus. What does yours say?"

Remus had already eaten his cookie. He picked up the paper and read, "A major decision is coming your way…And your lucky numbers are four, eight, fifteen, sixteen, twenty-three, and forty-two." He shook his head skeptically. "These things are rubbish."

"You never know. Twenty-three was one of the numbers, and you know my twenty-third birthday was just last month," Tonks reminded him.

"I don't think this has anything to do with age. If anything, it just means I should enter the lottery with those numbers."

"It was worth a shot," she replied glumly. "D'you want to watch the movie now?"

"Sure," Remus replied with a shrug, as he took their dishes to the sink.

Tonks put the leftovers in the fridge. "I'll go get it ready. Would you mind getting the quilt from my bed?"

"No, I'll go grab that right now." He followed her out of the kitchen and stepped into her bedroom. He noticed a picture on her nightstand he didn't recall having seen there before. Forgetting his reason for coming into the room, he sat down on the bed and picked up the photo to take a closer look. He remembered when it had been taken, at Mad-Eye's insistence that future Order members would want to see what their predecessors had been like before they had been struck down. The three of them had laughed, as was evident in the photo, but Remus felt rather grim remembering the occasion. After all, Sirius had died only a few months after the picture was taken. What if Tonks's turn was next? He couldn't stand to think about it.

"Remus?" Tonks's concerned voice came through the open door. "Did you get lost?"

"No. I'm coming. I just got distracted." He set the picture down carefully, then pulled the quilt off the bed. He carried it out into the living room where the cabinet was open, revealing a television showing a black and white picture where the credits were just starting. "So what's the movie?" he asked.

"Just an old American Christmas film," she said.

"What's it called?"

"_It's a Wonderful Life_. Have you ever seen it?" she inquired, sitting down next to him on the couch and resting her head on his shoulder.

He spread the blanket over them and put an arm around her. "I don't recall. I know I watched a few movies with my mother, since she was Muggle born, but I don't really remember any of them, since it was so long ago."

"That's a shame. There are some good movies out there. Maybe I'll see if I could rent some and we could have a movie night."

He shrugged. "Maybe someday."

By the end of the movie, Tonks had leaned over completely and curled her legs up onto the couch. Her head was rested in Remus's lap, where he absentmindedly stroked her hair. When the screen went black, she sighed. "I don't want to get up," she mumbled.

"You don't have to." Remus grabbed his wand from the end table and waved it at the television, which turned off.

"Thanks." She turned her head up to face him. "I'm so glad you came."

"I'm glad I did, too. I hate to think what might have happened if I didn't."

She ignored the last part and said, "'Night, Remus."

"Goodnight, Tonks."

"Dora," she hissed. "You may not want to feel like my boyfriend, but I want you to."

He shook his head. "I suppose there's no use in fighting you, but no matter how much I wish to be, I can never be your boyfriend."

"You're a prat," she muttered. "But you're my prat, and I love you, so I guess it's all right."

Remus smiled but said nothing. He felt Tonks's—Dora's—breathing grow more even and he knew she was asleep. He continued to play with her hair, watching snow fall outside the window that Dora had forgotten to draw the curtains of. As he watched the flakes drift by and felt the steady rhythm of Dora's breathing, a peace came over him and as he began to fall asleep, he knew that there was no place he would rather be. In that moment, a part of him was tempted to give up on fighting his feelings for Dora. He allowed this idea to develop for a few moments before shaking it away and giving in to sleep.

**I just want to say, I've had Chinese food for Christmas dinner before, and it's pretty awesome. I agree with Tonks-no cooking involved! And Remus's "lucky numbers" are my tribute to _Lost_, which I still can't believe is over. Anyway, writing this made me even more excited for Christmas...If only Remus Lupin would turn up on _my _doorstep...**


	13. Chapter 12: An Uncomfortable Situation

Chapter 12: An Uncomfortable Situation

The day after Boxing Day found Tonks leaning against the wall outside the Three Broomsticks, rubbing her hands together and trying to keep warm. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to remember the past two days. She had felt so wonderfully warm in Remus's arms on Christmas night, and again on Boxing Day morning as he had bade her farewell. But now it was back to real life, as if the whole thing had been nothing more than a dream.

"Morning, Tonks," Dawlish's voice said, breaking into Tonks's thoughts and causing her to frown. She opened her eyes.

"You certainly are cheerful this morning. Did you finally get something for Christmas that wasn't from your Mum?" she asked.

"Oh, yes," he replied, giving her an odd look, "but I would have thought you'd remember."

Her eyes narrowed. "Remember what?"

"How could you forget?" He sounded exasperated.

"If you don't tell me, I'll whack you so hard that you'll forget," she muttered.

"It seems someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," he taunted.

"It has nothing to do with where I woke up and everything to do with the fact that I have to see your ugly mug so early in the morning and that it's talking to me in stupid riddles."

"You didn't seem to think me so ugly on Christmas night," he said slyly.

Tonks decided to employ a new tactic. "If you don't spit it out soon, I'll have completely lost interest, so you might as well tell me."

"How about I tell you over a Firewhiskey?" he offered, opening the door to the pub.

"How about no," she replied coldly.

"I'm beginning to think you were just using me to get back at that dumb ex-boyfriend of yours."

At last, Tonks understood and her eyes widened in comprehension. "Annabeth," she breathed.

"No, you said his name was Remington or something. I don't know. All I know is that I told you I hadn't seen him. And that didn't make you very happy either, did it?"

She sighed with relief. "Oh, that's right. I must have forgotten since I had a lot to drink after I left," she lied.

"I'm sorry to hear that. You seemed to be enjoying yourself before you asked about that Rembrandt fellow. You know, any time you need a good time, you know where to find me."

Tonks felt rather nauseous. Just thinking about what had apparently transpired between Annabeth and Dawlish disgusted her, not to mention the fact that her body had been used to do it. And Dawlish's thinly veiled hints at a second time were certainly not helping the queasy feeling in her stomach go away. The only good news was that her memory charm had worked—perhaps a little too well, since Dawlish used a different name every time he referred to Remus—and that meant he was safe. Oh, the petty things some people would do for revenge. Tonks smiled inwardly as she imagined Annabeth's reaction that Bill was engaged to Fleur. Perhaps she was willing to be petty, too, if only toward Annabeth.

"Tonks, are you all right?"

"It's nothing. I'm probably just coming down with a stomach bug." _And his name is Dawlish_.

"You should go home. I'll take over the watch."

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"It seems rather sound to me."

"Well, you're not me and it's not your decision to make."

"Just because you're Kingsley's favorite doesn't make you special," he spat. "In fact, I wonder—did you sleep with him too?"

"No!" Tonks replied in exasperation. "And I've never been tempted to either. I'm no whore, Dawlish!"

"Oh, come on. You can't say that no one's ever tempted you—well, apart from myself, of course."

"Considering the fact that every guy who's ever been interested in me has been a creepy, a jerk, or both—with the exception of my last boyfriend—no, I have not. Well, by my last boyfriend, but he wanted to wait and I was fine with that."

"But what about me?"

"You're both," she said without hesitation.

"Then how do you explain the other night?"

"It wasn't me," she explained. "A woman I went to Hogwarts with used polyjuice potion to disguise herself as me to get information out of you about my ex-boyfriend."

"Assuming that's the truth, I think I know what your problem is," Dawlish announced.

"And what is that?" Tonks wasn't quite sure she wanted to know the answer.

"You need a good shag, that's all. The only reason you're being such a bitch is because you're a prude."

Tonks snorted. "I'm a what?"

"A prude. You're so boring; you need to live a little."

"Well, I'd rather be a prude than a prick like you. And it's not my fault the only man I've been interested in refuses to do anything until he's married or that he refuses to marry me."

"I think," Dawlish said, a smirk on his face, "that last part may be your fault."

"It's not." She sighed. "I really don't want to talk about this right now. We have a job to do, and right now, you're interfering with my ability to do it. Now, if you don't mind, I need to have a word with Dumbledore." She left him standing at the door of the Three Broomsticks, her cloak billowing out behind her. The walk to the castle brought back a flood of memories from her school years. She remembered carefree days with old friends she hadn't seen in years and a feeling of lightness she had left behind when she awoke in St. Mungo's to Remus's news of his mission, of Sirius's death, and that he could no longer continue to see her. She remembered days of laughter when her hair could still change color. She even had a few good memories of Annabeth, when she had still been friendly.

As the castle came into full view, Tonks's heart soared. It looked even more magical than usual covered with snow, almost like one of the castles out of the Muggle fairytales her Dad had read to her when she was young. As she strode across the grounds, she hoped with all her heart that Dumbledore was there. At least, even if he wasn't, she was getting away from Dawlish for a time.

Inside the castle, she began to warm up again. She paused in the grand entrance hall, taking in the warmth and letting more memories come over her. She took a deep breath and started off toward Dumbledore's office again. It was surprising how familiar every stair case, every portrait, was, as if she had been here only yesterday. Finding her way to the Gargoyle guarding the headmaster's office was second nature. "Fizzing Whizbee," she said and the statue stepped aside. She rode the moving staircase and knocked on the door.

"Come in," said Dumbledore's voice and Tonks opened the door and stepped into the office. "Ah, Nymphadora. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

She sat down in the chair across the desk from Dumbledore and his piercing blue eyes, feeling about twelve years old. She swung her legs nervously. "I've been worried lately, about Remus Lupin," she said in a quiet voice, completely unlike herself. Mentally, she reprimanded herself for sounding so weak.

Dumbledore rested his chin on his clasped hands. "I see. And you are here simply to notify me of this concern?"

"No." Tonks rubbed her clammy hands on her robes, hating the school girl tone to her voice. She was an Auror for Pete's sake!

"I didn't think so. Continue," Dumbledore said.

"Why do you make him stay? Surely you know how little progress he's made and how miserable he is there. Can't you do something? I mean, I know you can, so won't you do something? Bring him back, please. For his own good. He'll die out there! I know Greyback trusts him, that that makes it even more dangerous out there. Would you really sacrifice a good man in a useless cause in the name of a greater good it doesn't affect at all?" She was regaining her confidence and her tone showed it. Now, however, the main concern was the insolence of her demands. She hoped Dumbledore would at least take them into consideration.

He winced slightly, and when he spoke, his voice sounded pained. "Nymphadora, I know you're upset that Remus is in danger, but he is doing very well in gaining information for me."

"But why do you need his information?" she demanded angrily. "I thought Snape was giving you news directly from Voldemort himself!"

She was amazed at Dumbledore's ability to remain completely calm. "That does not mean that what Remus is doing for me is useless."

"How do you know what's going on? He hardly ever gets to leave!"

"I have other ways of communicating with him," Dumbledore said simply.

"But don't you worry about the danger he's in? He could be discovered at any moment! If Annabeth has her way, Greyback will learn everything! He'll know that Remus visited the Weasleys and me over Christmas instead of scouting for other werewolves; he'll find out that Remus is a spy and he'll be in even more danger than before, not to mention Sara. Please let him go home, Dumbledore." Her voice started to crack. "I'm worried about him."

"I know you are," he said understandingly. "I would be blind not to know how you feel about him, and I, not to boast, tend to be more observant than most. However, my decision to keep Remus among the werewolves is for the best."

"I didn't mean to question you and I'm sorry that I did," she apologized, finally realizing how lost a cause her arguments were and feeling foolish for even mentioning them. "I was just trying to help him."

"Remus will be fine," he assured her. "He has survived so far and I cannot foresee any complications. He is too cautious to make mistakes."

"That's not exactly true," Tonks muttered.

Dumbledore shook his head. "In his mind, leaving you was not a mistake."

"And that proves he has a poor vision of what's a mistake and what's not," she replied.

"I don't think so. It merely means that he is cautious; and caution is of the utmost importance in his situation."

"There's a difference between being cautious and being a noble prat, if you ask me," she grumbled.

"Nymphadora," he said firmly, "I know this is harder on you than on anyone else. When one we love is in danger, we tend to be more concerned than others. That is why he is more adamant than any in his desire not to marry you."

"But this is different!" Tonks erupted. "He could die!" 

"And so could you, in his mind. From where I stand, both of your points are the same and are equally foolish."

"Can you at least tell him, then, that he's being an idiot?"

"I could, but I could no more convince him that he is wrong than I could convince you that you are wrong. He needs to understand it in his own time and his own way. He is every bit as stubborn as you."

"I daresay he's even more stubborn than me."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. You could outlast anyone I've ever met in a contest of stubbornness, except, perhaps, for your mother. I suppose you get that from her," he mused. "But we shan't argue about this anymore. You have a job to return to, as I recall."

"To be honest, I'd rather not," she admitted, wringing her hands.

"And why ever not?" Dumbledore sounded genuinely surprised.

"It's Dawlish. I can't stand the man; he's the most conceited, disgusting troll that it has ever been my misfortune to meet. I'd rather tame dragons for the rest of my life than continue to work with him."

"I see. What's he done this time?"

"If he were being himself—and that's unpleasant enough in its own right, mind you—then I wouldn't be too concerned. But lately, he fancies me and it's quite annoying. The temptation to hex him is too strong for me to spend much more time with him."

"I'm sorry to hear that, though I do understand your concerns. After all, I also recall that he is one of Scrimgeour's favorites and made things very hard for you and Kingsley to keep your cover as Order members last year."

"This is much worse," he insisted. "It wasn't hard to keep a secret, but this year, he insists on trying to get me to go out with him. It's very distracting to have a git like him flirting with me almost constantly, while on the job, no less."

"I see. Perhaps I need to have a word with him…Would you mind sending him up when you return to your post?"

"I will. Thank you," she said, standing. "And you will talk to Remus as well, about me?"

"I'll see what I can do, though I can't guarantee anything I say will change his mind."

"Just knowing that you said something to him will help me."

"If that's all, then you may go." He shook her hand across the desk.

"I'll send Dawlish up, then." Tonks left the office and descended the staircase. The walk out of the castle was much shorter than the one to get to Dumbledore's office in the first place. She made her way across the grounds, regretting leaving the relative warmth inside for the frigid weather. She paused for a moment, taking in the snow-covered grounds. The Whomping Willow was the only thing around not covered with a blanket of white. In a moment of rashness, she strode toward it and froze the tree with a simple jinx. Carefully, she lowered herself into the tunnel, which was slick with ice. She slipped and, with nothing to grab, fell on her back. She imagined a young Remus walking along this same tunnel in the dead of night…And she thought it was cold now, and with his painful transformation on top of everything, those winter full moons must have been the worst. She could almost hear echoing up the tunnel the anguished howls the villagers of Hogsmeade must have heard.

She reached the shack and carefully made her way inside. Most of the furniture was overturned and destroyed. She put a hand at her throat and, for a fleeting second, she felt those sharp claws puncture it. _No_, she thought hurriedly, brushing the image away. _There's a potion now. Nothing will go wrong._ She gingerly felt the deep scores in the bedpost and her fear was directed toward Remus himself. She had seen the self-inflicted scars across his arms and face before, and she couldn't help but wonder what new scars he had received from spending full moons running around with, well, savages. She hadn't used the word to refer to werewolves since she had met Remus—the word did not describe the man at all; he was too refined and gentle for that—but Greyback was a different story, the very picture of what a werewolf should be, at least according to the things she had been told as a child. If all werewolves were like him, she could almost understand Umbridge's hatred of them. But meeting Remus had changed everything. He had opened her eyes to the horrors of prejudice in a way her parents' story never had. By refusing to let the social stigma of that word—for that's all it really was, at least in Remus's case—werewolf, bother her, she had found the best friend she had ever known and the man she loved.

She sat down on the shredded mattress and absentmindedly pulled bits of fluff from it. She reached up and touched her hair. It was so dull, so unlike her, that it almost made her feel like someone else entirely. Someone older, wiser, and infinitely more boring. She thought back to Boxing Day morning. When she had woken up in Remus's lap, she could have sworn bits of pink were starting to creep back into the tips of her hair, but now, cold, miserable, and completely alone, even the thought of attempting to morph was as ridiculous to her as it would be to a Muggle. She ripped the fluff in her hands into four piece, then tossed it aside.

Tonks knew she couldn't hide in the deserted shack much longer. Dawlish would probably make up some rubbish theory about where she had been and report to Kingsley about it. Not that he'd believe it, but he wouldn't exactly be happy about her running off and hiding out. She'd seem a coward. She brushed the fuzz from her clothes and stood, still reluctant to leave. The peeling wallpaper caught her eye. It was a horrid floral pattern her mother would have chosen. Werewolf or not, she couldn't blame Remus for tearing it away. Forced to spend much time in this room, she would do the same. She cautiously opened the door to the next room, which appeared to be the main entry. There was a rickety old staircase that she was tempted to climb, but she fought of the curiosity and instead opened the front door and left the abandoned building. Down the will and a way off, she could see the peaceful little village, looking like something out of a Christmas card. Perhaps she would stop off at the Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer after her shift. It was simply too cold for her to survive like this. Perhaps she'd get it after she sent Dawlish to speak with Dumbledore instead. She could just get a bottle and take it with her. Imagining the glorious feeling of warmth that would soon be hers, she wrapped her old Hufflepuff scarf tighter around her neck and pulled her cloak closer around her. The snow crunched lightly beneath her feet and for a brief moment, she allowed herself to forget about her troubles as she made her way to the village below.


End file.
